The Return Of The BLues

Owners file lawsuit to support 'Naked Karaoke' event

By Noreen Gillespie, Associated Press Writer, 10/30/2003

BERLIN, Conn. -- You can leave your hat on.
The rules of naked karaoke are simple: Amateur singers grab a microphone, sans clothing, and belt out tunes in the buff.
Bristol Station Cafe owner Marty St. Pierre says he was just kidding around when he advertised such an event in front of his bar. Then he got volunteers. Lots of them.
"It honestly started out as a joke," he said. "But there were people signing up, so I just let it run."
The planned event struck a sour note with the establishment's neighbors, who called Town Hall to complain. Soon, St. Pierre got a visit from town authorities, who said he could face fines or arrest if he operated the naked musical performance without a permit.

Well, now and how did I not see this coming? And what type of permit exactly does one need for the aforementioned competition? Depending on the physical makeup of the clientele, would a livestock permit do the trick? Would it be a “Mooooving” Violation? Would the number one song be “Thanks for the Mammary"?

What amazes me here is the huge amount of fuss this whole thing creates.

Yesterday, in Virginia, a state law was introduced that frankly scares me just a little. Virginia lawmakers passed a bill authorizing a $50 fine for anyone who displays his or her underpants in a "lewd or indecent manner".

Are we going to be staring at a whole new set of “Blue Laws”? Is there no end in sight? (Pun very much intended.)

Can we look forward to the return of Anita Bryant soon? You can’t squeeze those oranges, my friend.

I feel like a guy, who started out his journey on a plane full of my peers and it has been hijacked by a group of religious extremists. The thing about extreme religious folks is their commonality. The ability to use God, regardless of what name you call your God, as a reason to go after anything you disagree with just frightens me. I have a major breakdown when it comes to extreme views. I don’t much care if it comes from the Middle East or the Midwest.

So if a group of folks want to sing “At This Moment”, off key and stark naked, how am I hurt by this?

Do I care if ole Ted from the Feed Store and Wanda from the Diner sing a nice rendition of “Blowing in the Wind”, sans the work wear? How does this affect my life?

I’m pretty sure we have better things to do.

As for me, I’m off to work on my golf ball collection and perhaps get the lyrics down to “Requiem for the Masses”.