OH MY..where are the PR people when you need them???

The Grinch?
The Pope?
Your Crazy Uncle Swen?

Merry Holidays..or something like that

“And so this is Christmas…
And what have you done?
Another year older...
And a new one just begun.” ---John Lennon

I’m not the fan of Christmas I once was. I recall as a child really looking forward to it…the tree, the smells and so on. The presents didn’t hurt either. As an adult, I have tried to buy all the things I really wanted for the occasion, but never got. Somehow, it’s not quite the same.

The other day, 50 guys in Santa suits got drunk, rioted, and looted in Auckland, New Zealand. I guess they were objecting to the commercialization of Christmas; albeit, the looting certainly sends a mixed message. The whole message or meaning of the season seems to have been lost.

I think you kind of get that when Black Friday arrives (the big shopping day after Thanksgiving) and folks get trampled at Wal-Mart trying to score the cheap buy on laptops and plasma TVs.

I find even going to Lowe’s does not take away the sheer size of the event. Can you have a bigger section devoted to really, pricey crap to hang on your house and put in your front yard?

I hate that we have become so PC that even saying Christmas seems to be some sort of an issue. I believe the correct term is ‘Happy Holidays’ which seems not to offend anyone. I have opted out for “Hey, how’s it going?” or the ever-steady “Ya, you too.” One can never be too watered down, in my opinion.

The one thing I do find about this time of year is that this is a great time to reflect on the people in my life and wonder how they are doing.

Are they well, happy and content with it all? Are they facing challenges or issues that might actually require a friend or a loved one to simply be there to listen or so on? Some things are not easily resolved with a 42” Plasma TV.

The other day I was listening to XM radio when I stumbled across a Club Mix of “O Holy Night.” Yikes!! Sure it was fun to listen to and it really had a good beat, I would give it a 7. But, hey, enough is enough; this is the One song that still puts me in mind of the original reason for the season.

Call me an ‘elitist’; but, this is one song that should only be sung by a tenor. The song still tugs at something in my memory and still gives me a sense of warmth. Not so much when done with lasers and a good back beat.

I went home and listened to the Three Tenors version, sometimes it doesn’t take much.

And we wonder why wild animals attack?

Mel Gibson's Dad Has a Fan

Iranian President Calls Holocaust a 'Myth'
By ALI AKBAR DAREINI, Associated Press Writer
TEHRAN, Iran
Iran's hard-line president lashed out with a new outburst at Israel on Wednesday, calling the Nazi Holocaust a "myth" used as a pretext for carving out a Jewish state in the heart of the Muslim world.

Perfect, just when we thought the world was running out of ‘nut cases’, we have a new one to throw into the mix. It’s starting to look like a Snack Plate at the company Christmas party.

Oh, wait, am I allowed to use the term Christmas party? Would that line be more correct if I typed Holiday party, or Festiva (of Seinfeld fame) or Kwanzaa? So hard to keep up…

So we have the eraser head dude in North Korea. (Is it just me, but does the North Korean flag remind anyone else of Texaco?) We have Scarface running Venezuela and now this ‘nutcase’. This, of course, doesn’t even address the whackos-in-waiting all over the world just dieing to jump into the mix. Speaking of dieing, lets rethink Switzerland’s approach to world involvement. That would be of course no involvement.

I say let the Israeli Government deal with this newest issue and I have no doubt of their ability to do so. When we get done with Iraq, let’s take the “hands off” approach to worldwide issues.

Let’s invent a really cool knife and even neater watches and let that be our claim to fame. We can offer emotional support and focus our military resources on domestic issues. Hurricanes seem to jump to mind.

I have friends in Canada who are always quick to jump on the US and our actions; but, yet when I suggest that we close our borders and just work on our own issues, they also protest. It seems these very same folks also feel we have an obligation to the rest of the World but should just follow their suggestions on how we should be involved. This of course coming from a country whose biggest success is Wayne Gretsky and he moved to LA.

So I say lets give neutrality a shot. This ‘being involved’ is way overrated.

Never an easy answer

What are the rules?

Someone asked me the other day what my thoughts were on ‘secret prisons’ and the like. This, of course, would encompass creative ways of getting folks to chat with you about things of mutual interest. These seem to include hoods and odd usages of car batteries.

Back in the early 80’s the America Cancer Society had an ad that featured a Peter Max - type of painting complete with pleasant music. It depicted the almost unrealistic view of people about cancer and things were not at all well in Nirvana.

It always struck me as a brilliant ad and has always stayed with me for some reason.
This also seems to apply to the question my friend asked me.

There is no doubt that we view ourselves as a nation in pretty high regard assuming we always follow the rules. Any breaking of such rules generally brings a collective look of shock and disbelief. We would never stoop to anything which would even begin to resemble a source of questionable nature...not us.

Here is my somewhat twisted view of things…

We are currently fighting two wars. The War in Iraq is a war with tanks, planes and soldiers, lots of them. We are going after insurgents with Bradley fighting vehicles and they are coming at us with a cement mixer filled with explosives plus men and women wrapped tighter than a leftover tuna salad sandwich with explosives.

In his book, on reinventing yourself, Tom Peters discusses these facts and points out we need to “change how we view modern combat.”

I always think of it as a bunch of Redcoats lined up in a nice formation so the Revolutionary Army could have a nice clean headshot. What worked for you in the past simply doesn’t apply anymore. Time for a reality check.

The other War is against terrorists who have a huge, hard-on against the US and other Western countries. Much as the folks in the White House want me to believe they are one in the same, I just can’t see it.

Now on to torture and other weird parlor games.

To make matters worse, we seem to have differing statements. I would use the term opinions; but, that seems a tad optimistic at best.

Cheney thinks we should be allowed to torture, it worked at Halliburton. Why not give it a good ‘shot’ here? George W and Condi Rice also have thoughts on this, but what is the old saying, “If this is Belgium, it must be Tuesday.”

When you are looking at the face of terror and that face comes minus any sense of rules and so on, where do you draw the line?

Do I think the CIA and such should follow a strict sense of rules and always put that first? Do I think they put human rights above getting the information they need to accomplish their objectives?

I want to say ‘Yes’ here; but, instead will say, when you are dealing with nutcases following rules doesn’t always work.

At best, I am, at times a liberal conservative. I tend to believe that we should follow the rules as set forth by the ‘other side.’ The ‘other side’ of course has Allah on their side; and, this seems to give credence to having people walk into weddings and blow the shit out of themselves and others.

Somehow, I suspect Allah would not be in favor of this ‘three-ring circus.’

I think of my folks who woke up one morning to the presence of German Soldiers in their small Dutch town. It was against the rules, but no one told Hitler.

I think of my Mother-in-Law who watched the invasion of her village in the south of China by the Japanese. Once again, not so much for the rules…

Think of it as a major turnaround at a refinery, all the rules and so on apply till the work starts.

Man are you grounded

SINGAPORE - Singapore executed a 25-year-old Australian on Friday for drug trafficking, after he had a "beautiful last visit" with his family. Australia's leader protested the sentence, saying it would damage ties.
OK, here is the deal.

Singapore is tough. Ask the kid who was caned a few years back for tagging cars with spray paint. He was just a ‘misguided American kid’ who was unfairly treated according to his parents.

The young man who was hung yesterday was misguided as well, but had learned the error of his ways according to his parents and lawyer.

Ok, let’s break this down, shall we?

Maybe, there are still places in the world where ‘when you break the law’; you get your butt kicked for it. You don’t get to hide behind Mom and Dad or give all kinds of excuses about why you should not be held responsible for your actions.

There are places where breaking the rules means getting your knuckles cracked and not a lot of discussion in regards to your rights as a person. You broke the rules, there are consequences, deal with it.

The young man from Australia was caught with heroin on his person. This is illegal in all kinds of places; in Singapore, they hang you for it.

How the hell do you not know that before you bring it into the country? Do we now add ignorance of the law to the issue?

To the parents, of the young man, I feel for you. I hate that you had to suffer the end result of this action. But it doesn’t change the fact, that there were some major flaws in decision making and in the end, the Government of Singapore are not the ‘bad guys.’ It is their country, their rules and if you want to play in their arena, you get to follow the rules.

I can’t help but think that the root cause might just be that we have lost control of civility here. We forgot to teach our kids that when you screw up, we are not bailing you out; or as in this case, we could not, even if we wanted to.

On that note, I attach the following article.

--------------------
Hartford police fines high school students for cursing
--------------------


November 30, 2005, 10:36 AM EST

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) _ Bad words are costing Hartford Public and Bulkeley high schoolers $103 each.

Police officers assigned to the schools have fined about two dozen students for cursing in a new program to curtail unruly behavior. The joint effort by school and police officials targets students who swear while defying teachers and administrators.

"We're sending a message to the parents and to the teachers," said Sandy Cruz-Serrano, senior adviser to Superintendent of Schools Robert Henry. "We are trying to bring back order to the schools."

Parents are required to pay the fines if the students cannot (I like this part.)

"Our heads are spinning with that," said Sam Saylor, president of the district Parent Teacher Organization. "The kids are really indecent with their swearing and they're swearing at teachers. This is their way of curtailing it _ making the parents pay."

Keila Ayala, 17, a Hartford Public sophomore, said she was ticketed for shouting an expletive in an officer's face while handcuffed for taking a swing at him.

"It'll stop me from swearing," she said. "Well, it won't stop me from swearing, but I won't cuss at the teachers."

George Sugai, who teaches school discipline at UConn's Neag School of Education, is skeptical of the effort. "Research says that punishing kids doesn't teach them the right way to act," he said.

OK, I give up.

George, how does one reason with a 17 year old that finds it ‘all right’ to swear at teachers?

Apparently, “Time Out” has clearly not worked so well up to this point.

G W inspects the new Iraq security forces.....

Tasha Henderson, right, and her daughter, Coretha, left, pose for a photo outside their home in Edmond, Okla., Friday, Nov. 11, 2005, with the sign Coretha was forced to hold for an hour at a busy intersection so that passing motorists could read it. The 14-year-old freshman already has been forced by her parents to give up basketball and track because of slipping grades, and said she hopes to improve in school so she can play next year. (AP

You have the right to remain stupid

There is no such thing as a BAD episode of “Cops”.

It can be watched in the rerun version or as the new season unfolds on Fox. It doesn’t matter which, either version clearly gives you insight to the potential of how stupid the human condition can crater. To me, it is a ‘mini-guide’ of places I don’t really want to live-in and at a minimum, drive through after the sun goes down.

Pierce County, in Washington State, decided to no longer allow the Show to drive about with their Officers fearing it would give the wrong impression of the ‘pristine area’ of Tacoma. Well, a tad too late I fear, I don’t see tourism flourishing in the near future because of this move. We are talking Tacoma after all.

One thing this show often points out to me is the matter of choices. You choose where to be and in most cases, this can result in the choice you make for your personal environment.

Stopping for a bottle of Vodka at a liquor store is not by itself a bad deal; stopping in for said purchase at 1:30 am in San Bernardino County might well be.

The one thing I have also observed in many ‘Cop Reality’ shows, as well as, seen on the 11 o’clock news in Southern California, is to avoid “am/pm” stations.

In my past life, I was always disheartened to see that these stations were the apparent favorite areas for dumb crimes.  It was almost a sure thing; arrest a hooker, “am/pm” store in the background and so on.  Maybe the cheap beer thing was more of an indicator than the cheap gas; but, hey, what do I know?

A few years back a court decision made it illegal for “Cops” to actually follow the police into people’s homes, since it was deemed an “invasion of privacy.”

Man, I miss those episodes… some drunk trying to fight 4 cops while all the while he or she is getting the hell shocked out of them with a taser.  Now, that was good TV.

The only thing I remotely enjoy more is the “chase”.  In LA, ‘Live’ coverage of a fleeing idiot on the streets and freeways of Southern California could and would stop folks in their tracks. All the channels would rush to get the ‘Live’ coverage on their station and once you started watching, you were hooked.

You jump from Channel to Channel in hopes of seeing a somewhat better angle of the “chase.”  Channel 9 (KCAL) seemed to always have the edge on the coverage.  

I miss that up here.  If there is a police chase, we are reduced to the footage provided by DOT (Department of Transportation) cameras…not nearly as entertaining.

I recall friends who had just moved to the LA area being amazed with how addictive watching these could be.  One friend was amazed that his wife actually stayed up till 2AM to watch the conclusion of a “chase”.  I was barely able to discuss the issue, since I was pretty tired from being up till 2AM.

The thing that amazed me was the different vehicles these pranksters would choose to runaway in. Our family fave was the guy in Orange County who made a run for it in a stolen, 7-UP delivery truck.  This was actually a smaller, tractor-trailer rig with the side doors opened to get access to the 7-UP.  He would careen around a corner and cans of pop would go flying out of the truck.

It was amazing and the worst part of the “chase” would always be when it was over… almost like the end of a good sporting event.

Anyways, in the end, it comes down to what a friend of mine (a retried cop of 25 years) said, “We call them criminals because you can’t actually write “Dumb-Shit” on a police report.

And all I ever got as a kid was a fat guy in a Santa suit

Models prepare for a parade in front of street children in the drug-infested 'Barrio Triste' (Sad Neighborhood) in downtown Medellin in Colombia November 7, 2005. The event was organised to entertain the children by a member of a local charity that helps children in Barrio Triste by providing food, clothes and cleaning facilities. REUTERS/Albeiro Lopera

Thanks Darcie

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments .

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butt. Then things get worse.

26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday ... around age 11.

30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Is This Stall Taken???

A Carolina Panther cheerleader charged with giving police a false name during her arrest at a bar has denied accounts that she was having sex with another cheerleader in a restroom stall.
Oh my!  The things you miss on ESPN.
I love the fact that this story has even made it to the media, let alone grown to such “urban legend level” so quickly.  
Forget CIA leaks and pirates attacking cruise ships (as if I needed another reason for not going on a cruise ship).  
This is real news, isn't it? Something you can sink your teeth into, as it were.  The voice of Chris Berman echoes in my ears “She could go all the way” has a whole new meaning now.
How is it possible this even made national headlines?  When did we sink to the level of the “Sun” in the UK, the “National Enquirer” at the Safeway or “The New York Post”, well in New York?
Are there not better stories?  Do we have nothing better to do than cover two NFL Cheerleaders making out in a bathroom stall in a local watering hole in Tampa Bay?  Where the heck are the real issues, the real meat of the stories that inspire and inform us?  
I shudder to think that this even was given more then a casual glance on the local level.  So all that being said, I love the closing comment of the article on the AP wires.
The cheerleaders were not in town to perform at the game.

Ya Think?

Well now, there is a face that says,"We Care".

7 Degrees of Separation, more or less

Small world or what?

So you wondered what ever happened with our rodent problem.(?)  Well, to be honest, they simply went away. We either got lucky or my smoking bothers even them.

The rodent ‘dude’, (yes, it did end up being a ‘dude)’ did make for some interesting conversation…complete with the stories of his travels across the country and eating habits “ Of Mice and Men”, the guy was pretty interesting.  

He did discover that part of the ductwork under our house had come apart and he was good enough to duct tape the entire thing back together…a well-spent $20 tip, like I’m going under our house…please.

So the following week I head out to the local culture spot in our county…the infamous Silver Reef Casino / Smoke Shop / Shell Station / Liquor Store and the place where all the well-known musical talents of the 60’s and 70’s seem to end up.

I‘m thinking that this is one long ride from the Interstate to the Casino.  You meander past the Volvo Rental Yard, the Dump, the Sawdust-n-Beauty Bark place and on past the railroad tracks to where the signs WARN of Flooding.  As you pull up to the Shell Station and head onto the Reservation, does the thought occur to you that maybe, just maybe, these are not your glory days and that drug overdose in the mid 80’s might have been a clue?

I pull in and park beside a white pickup complete with duck decoys, a shotgun in the window and a dog in a crate.  The driver, completely dressed in camouflage is talking with another guy who ‘lights up’ when he sees me.  We exchange nods and I make my way into the Smoke part of the Silver Reef to purchase some of those rodent deterring ‘smokes.’  As I head back to my car the hunter and the other dude are still chatting, my friend smiles and says, “See you next week.”  

I smile and get back in my car all the while wondering where I will see my new friend next week?  Then it dawns on me, this is the rodent dude, the fixer of ductwork, how soon we forget.

As I back out I glance at the back of the hunter’s pickup and read the following bumper sticker, “If it flies, it dies”.

Yikes, how general of a statement can this be?  Should the FAA be notified, Homeland Security, a quiet heads up to Charlton Heston?

As I ponder the closeness of it all, I glance up at yet another bumper sticker on a new Hummer.  It merely states the obvious “Jesus Loves You, but I’m His favorite.”

Well it was funnier back then...

A few years back, a friend, who currently lives in the wilds of Montana, was having a rat problem. It would poke its nose up through the heating vent and you could even see its little whiskers as it sniffed the air.  My friend’s response was to throw his wife’s house slipper at it.  

In the history of rodent abatement, this has not proven to be the most affective approach, albeit it is an admirable attempt.  Said, rodent, proved to be quite the pest even chewing through the water line to the dishwasher as I recall.

The war was on, poison was left and within a short period of time the rat passed on. Unfortunately, it passed under the house and it turned quickly to an interesting smell of victory.  Undaunted, my friend, armed with a bag of lime, went in full cleanup mode under his now rodent-free home.  

The scream could be heard throughout the ‘hood’ when our hero encountered the now, dead rat, had died in an aggressive snarling type pose.

Apparently, on first inspection, the now dead rat looked very much alive and ‘pissed off.’ Lime was spilled, skin was burned and I decided at that moment, if any rodent ever decided to take up residence as a houseguest, pros would be called.

Currently, something is living in our crawl space.  It makes its way through the heating ducts and our dog is in constant ‘hunt’ mode. Last night, Molly “The Wonder Dog” attempted to scratch through the indoor heater vent to meet our new resident ‘up close and personal.’  Our other dog, Kiara, sniffed the vent and crawled back up on the couch and returned to sleep. Kiara, or ‘Special K’, as we often call her, tends to take more of a Zen-type approach to rodents.  

Molly tends to kill first and explain later…terrier search and destroy tactics.

I sit here now waiting for the pest control folks to call me back.  I guess I have visions of what a ‘Pest Control Professional’ looks like. I imagine a 3-day beard growth, stained shirt and a cigarette butt dangling from a snarling mouth.  I am struggling with this image currently.  I was informed that ‘Debby’ would be calling me and somehow in my own stereotypical way expected someone named ‘Buzz.’

Oh, well more to follow later…

You Rock George

Bush Praises Abbas in White House Visit

Well I was unaware the GW actually enjoyed the music of Abba. I always figured him more of a country western type. But it certainly changes my perspective; he is much more worldly then that it seems.

“What’s the name of the game?” is certainly a song I would think would be one of his faves, as well as the ever-popular “Dancing Queen”. I can see he and Cheney rocking out in the oval office to the bass driven beat of Abba.

I would think that “Fernando” would be more of a hit with Rumsfield. The whole war and canon thing going on there..

It is an even greater fan that would actually invite Abba to the White House. Hell I wasn’t even aware they were still together. But I will check the Indian Casino circuit and see if they pop up there.

On that note, I see that Sheena Easton will be singing at the Silver Reef Casino/smoke shop and Shell station, just off I-5 on the Slater exit. What is she now, 60? Man culture is everywhere, Sheena at the Silver Reef and Abba in the White House. I need to stay in more.

Hey a little slack here...

  WASHINGTON - Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers pledged unflagging opposition to abortion as a candidate for the Dallas City council in 1989, according to documents released Tuesday.

Ok, maybe it’s because I have a head cold and my thinking isn’t very clear, but thank God I am not held accountable for what I thought or said in1989.

I haven’t had this much fun since the introduction of Dan Quayle as the second in charge during the old Bush days. That is to say the 1st Bush, not the current Bush, but the Bush before this Bush. Not the Bush in the Garden of Eden, that was actually a tree, thought I think there was a Bush involved in that story. Well comparing apples to grapefruits here I guess. Who can ever forget the infamous “ What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.” A real gem from a vice president indeed…

As I was saying, the nomination of Harriet Miers is too good. The democrats are simply sitting back and watching the born again wing of the GOP go nuts over this move by GW. In all honesty I doubt God would have been conservative enough for this crowd. All that forgiveness and other silliness, please what next, unconditional forgiveness?
They don’t have a problem with her lack of any judicial experience, a minor point to say the least, but it is her unknown values that are in question here.

In the end it would have been so much easier had Karl “the brain” Rove not been busy with that pesky Grand Jury. Oh sure you leak the name of one CIA agent to the press and suddenly you’re a bad guy. What kind of country are we living in, where’s the love?


In the end all of it will get sorted out I guess. But it did get me thinking how lucky I am to not be in the public eye. In 1989 I think I actually had a mullet and I thought the border of the world ended somewhere near the county line. I thought romance involved a willing participant and the spin cycle on the dyer. Albeit, the dryer thing is still legend in some circles, it was a bit of shallow existence. My major achievements had been several failed marriages and throwing really good parties. It was a chance for normally sedate folks to come over to my place and cut loose and still have the comfort of knowing they could leave at anytime. One of my friend’s parents happened to be at one of our little "get social" functions. During the course of the evening we had several drum sets being played to accompany the sound system. A neighbor decided the kitchen counter was the perfect place to do her imitation of a go-go dancer. You have never seen such fear in my eyes as I waited for the collapse of the counter under the 250-pound plus dancer. A fear that was only surpassed when said dancer suddenly developed a crush on another partier. For a second it looked like it would end up being more then just an emotional crush.

Toward the end of the evening I heard my friend’s mother comment “What a fun party …thank God he isn’t our neighbor.”

Well life changed, I moved on and now it is very clear to me that public service is never going to work for me. Well unless I run as the candidate that at some point of his life broke more taboos then a normal life span should allow.

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I Can't Get No Satisfaction...well for a price

There's going to be some banging go on next week on Days of Our Lives--courtesy of the Rolling Stones.

In the latest novel attempt to market their new disc, A Bigger Bang, the geriatric rockers are going to debut the video for "Streets of Love" on the NBC soap opera next Tuesday.

In addition, the song will also be used as the soundtrack for some ‘Days’ scenes in weeks to come.

Just shoot me.

How more watered down can this get? Isn’t it bad enough that I get to listen to Santana and Phil Collins on the Easy Listening channel and now on PBS, there is a 2-hour special featuring “The Auatrailian Pink Floyd”? The latter basically being a cover band that in no possible manner reminds one of the actual ‘Pinksters’.

Let’s face it, folks, my generation has sold out and sold out in a big way.

Ok, granted I sold out years ago, but that has nothing to with anything.

Is it any wonder that we are a confused and a Viagra-popping Generation?

Our musical heroes have opted to follow the money trail and are now hawking everything from cars to dish soap. We are simply a media, Reality TV watching generation who has learned to opt out for the decaf and counting our calories.

Have we simply become the ‘crash test dummies’ of the 60’s?

I like to think that Lennon, Joplin and Hendrix would never have sold out. But perhaps the upside of an untimely death is you simply don’t live long enough to turn into a meandering Xerox of yourself.
It can be argued that the greatness of an individual is never more magnified than choking on a tuna sandwich or cruising the streets of Dallas in a convertible Lincoln Town Car.

Much as I would like to continue this theory, I need to catch the Tivo’d bits of the Amazing Race, America’s Top Model and an infomercial about a new lotion that makes you look years younger.

I think Keith Richards is the promo dude for that one.

If this is Wednesday it must be....

Just some random thoughts.

Has anyone seen the new Burger King ads? The ones where they feature some guy dressed up in a royal getup with a rubber mask, which represents the company mascot. The one where he shows up in some guy's bed with a breakfast sandwich is pretty weird and the one with the “king” in a NFL game is a bit out there as well. But, the new one where the “king” shows up behind a tree that has just been chain sawed is beyond creepy. Call me funny, but showing up in tights and a silly grin in front of a dude with a chainsaw might just be a taking your life into your own hands. But, hey, what do I know about advertising?

Ok, once again for those of you who didn’t see my first rant on this subject!

I was watching the “Amazing Race” last night on CBS. As far as reality shows go, this one actually appeals to the logistics side of me. The premise is that different teams are required to follow a series of clues and need to find locations all over the world. The last team to actually arrive is eliminated from the race.

I always thought this would be a good way to deal with folks who insist on being late to meetings. A dramatic entrance would no longer indicate how busy and important you are, it would merely point out the obvious... that you have no time management skills.

I can hear the emcee of the show now “So and so, you are the last person to arrive, I am sorry to say you have been eliminated from your career.” Not that I have an issue with people who are clueless when it comes to being where they say they will be... I mean what could be more fun than speaking to a group of people for 15 minutes and then be bombarded with questions from “I’m always late so I will ask you to repeat everything you just said”.

Anyway back to my original point...

One of the teams featured in the race is a Mom with her three kids. Her husband was a NASCAR official who had been killed when he ran onto the track to remove some debris during a race. All in all, a pretty bad deal. Regardless, this team seems to be doing fairly well and have hung in there... well, other than the time when the mom got run over by a buggy in Amish country. That was a bit odd. You would almost think it was some form of 'rating ploy', but hey, what do I know about ratings?

The thing that I really struggle with besides understanding Algebra and the Electoral College, is the amount of praying that goes on in this race.

This mother and her three offspring pray about everything. “Lord please let us find Route 65 on this map, in the name of your Son, Amen” followed by “Lord, please let us be faster than the 'colored' folk from Vermont who are ahead of us now.”

God does not care if you win the "Amazing Race." God has other issues to deal with beyond how well you do in a reality show. I believe your personal belief in God is sacred.

It is something that is special; try to keep it that way. I think throwing out God’s name for the mere sake of doing well at bingo, cards or reality shows tends to water down the entire issue.

But, hey, what do I know about your beliefs? Other than your actions, more often than not, override the words coming out of your mouth.

I like these

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's {2005} entrants

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day> consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating

Tell me one more time

SEOUL, South Korea -

North Korea insisted Tuesday it won't dismantle its nuclear weapons program until the U.S. gives it civilian nuclear reactors, casting doubt on a disarmament agreement reached a day earlier during international talks.

Ok one more time, lets assume I’m slow.

We invaded Iraq because we thought they had WMD’s.

We wanted to chat with North Korea because it seemed the rational thing to do?

There is an old Sioux saying, which was very deep and full of meaning, as many old quotes worth repeating are. I don’t pretend to remember the exact wording, but roughly translated it says “don’t screw with crazy people”, or something along those lines

The North Korean government is nuts, whacko, Looney tunes and they can actually make a bomb. Ok it might be a really bad bomb, but a bomb never the less and yet they are worth discussing things with. The Chinese and Japanese think these loop fruits are out there and we decided to put them on the back burner because?

I’m confused, how did North Korea slip under the radar of the all knowing and wise Pat Robertson? How is this possible?

It can’t be because they don’t have oil. Only the liberal left wing bleeding heart media might imply something like that. Certainly not me, I’m just curious.

So is it because as the common man we simply don’t see the real story? I would love to know, I promise not to think and just follow along. Well that is if you tell me what it is I am following.

What's in this box??

“You can ride high atop your pony
I know you won't fall...
'Cause the whole thing's phoney.
You can fly swinging from your trapeze
scaring all the people
but you'll never scare me.” Stevie Nicks (Bella Donna)

We just bought a nice, little commuter car, 1999 VW Beetle. Not only is this a neat little car, albeit a ‘chick’ car, it gets great mileage and is plain fun to drive. The one downside is the cassette player… No CD’s for this ride.
Well, as it happens we found a box in the garage full of cassettes; they were right next to the old 8-track player and the Atari game system.

Found all kinds of treasures in there, old Motown hits, Santana and so on. I don’t actually recall buying Shanana’s Greatest Hits; but, hey, there it was. I am assuming it was actually one of my wife’s purchases.

What I did find in there was definitely one of my personal favorite albums of all time. Stevie Nicks has been one artist that always touched a chord in me. (Note the clever musical tie in.) I at one point had not only the cassette, but also the vinyl copy of “Bella Donna.” I played the record till the grooves were just about worn out. In my opinion, this was by far, the greatest work Nicks had ever done. Anything she did prior or after this album paled in comparison.

Her work with Fleetwood Mac came close, but still lacked the raw passion of “Bella Donna.” Her work with Tom Petty on “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” was incredible even though the curse of a Top 40 tune did rub some of the magic off after the 10,000th time it got airplay. And what can be said about “The Highwayman” with Don Henley? I can’t even begin to address the quality of the vocals and arrangements, let alone the lyrics.

This made me think about what in our lives is our “Bella Donna?”

What piece of work or passion really stands out as our defining moment? What.. if even so brief, told the world this is who I am, this is what I believe. Is there something you can look at and think, “This is amazing how can I ever do better than this?”

I realize that not many of us will ever know what it feels like to put ourselves out on a record and watch to see the reaction of the listening public. For most of us, that public will be our family, our co-workers and friends. We will not be able to see how well we do on the charts or whether anyone will ever use one of our lines as a quote or an example.

Do you ever wonder what the lyrics we write sound like to others? We may never be famous but I suspect that all of us will achieve our own version of “Bella Donna.”
The key I suspect is to be aware of what we did and how best to follow up afterwards.

I don’t think any of us want to end up re-playing our greatest hits at the Silver Reef Casino.

Get A Hobby

U.S. District Judge Lawrence Karlton ruled that the pledge's reference to one nation "under God" violates school children's right to be "free from a coercive requirement to affirm God."

Oh, please! When does this ‘crap’ end? I bet my 10-year-old Granddaughter had no idea that she was in fact being coerced into affirming anything…that the subtle undertones of religion were in fact entering her brain and eating at her very own ability to make decisions later in life as an adult. I am so pleased to see that Michael Newdow was once again going to the courts of our land to strike any mention of God. You might remember Mr. Newdow as the self-avowed atheist from Sacramento who fought to have the words Under God removed 3 years ago from the “Pledge of Allegiance.”

Let me state that I am a big fan of the separation of church and state and most religions also have no issue with that. Let me also be clear that I have no tolerance for those who believe God “picks favorite countries.”

That being said, I am also a big fan of tradition and history. The “Pledge of Allegiance” is what it is. It does not identify which God we are speaking of... the Christian Jehovah, the Muslim Allah, or Yahweh of the Jewish faith. Heck, it doesn’t even exclude Money and Power as being what many folks tend to serve. In the words of Robert Zimmerman, “You have to serve somebody”.

I like my “Pledge of Allegiance” just the way it is, just like I am a fan of the “National Anthem”; though, if pushed, I actually like “God Bless America” a bit better and it seems a tad easier to sing.

I lived in Canada for a number of years and recall not being allowed to sing the line, “Our home and Native Land” by my 5th grade teacher because we were ‘foreigners.’ I bonded with the Jehovah’s Witnesses in the class. A few years ago, I went back to attend a function and joined right in on the Canadian national anthem, only to discover that they had changed some of the lyrics. I hate to think we would consider anything so stupid.

Shouldn’t there be a rule that states you can’t continue to revisit silly lawsuits? You tried; you lost; now go back and do something productive with your life besides being annoying. Is this the most important thing you have on your plate?

Too Funny sorta

IMHO

If change were easy, maybe more folks would give it a shot.

I had this conversation the other day with one of our neighbors. We were discussing the joys of debating and a solid difference of opinion. She explained to me that her cultural roots embraced the art of the debate. She explained that with just 2 people discussing an issue usually 3 different points of view generally surfaced. I like that.

Clearly, what I write here is merely my view of things. Often these points are written with a certain amount of irrational emotion and come more from the heart than they do from logic. It is a rule; I often follow in my life. I hardly think that anything I write here gets an overall agreement from all that read it. I enjoy when someone thinks my writing is somewhere out in ‘left field’, just under the Miller Lite sign. I look forward to the debate; it seems to feed something in me.

I have wondered about things as long as I can remember. I have challenged things even longer. I have never broken a rule, but I have certainly looked at them from all sides and wondered if perhaps, they might be a tad out of date.

I am always amazed to watch people do things and when asked why they do them, they are at a loss to tell you other than “that’s how we always do it.” I always found this almost as much fun in a work place environment as in real life.

I was listening to some of the coverage of the Hurricane and marveled at the strength of some and the sheer desperation of others. These were not even the victims… just the different government groups from Local to Federal ‘tap dancing’ around the real issues.

The scene from the “Wizard of Oz” jumped to my mind. “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”

The truth is that the levee problem in New Orleans is hardly the fault of one administration; many have ‘opted out’ of fixing these levees for many years…although it hardly relieves my view of some of King George’s folks OR even his own reaction during this crisis.

The ‘dude’ running FEMA ran horse shows before his appointment. What an interesting career move, albeit shoveling horse shit is probably not a major leap from the crap he is shoveling out now.

Many will point fingers and I am not far from that myself, if I am honest. But hopefully some common good will come from this.

What Country Is This Again

So yesterday, we got the long awaited call from Mississippi letting us know that our family had survived the Hurricane. We are still waiting to hear from many friends in the New Orleans area. Thanks to those of you inquired about our family.

Today, I watched the video of Trent Lott and his wife looking at what was left of their home in PASCAGOULA, Mississippi. He and his wife flew in on a military helicopter, shed some tears, got back on the copter and flew out. He then argued on CNN that the Federal Government was doing a fabulous job dealing with the disaster. You, sir, are an idiot and you are arrogant.

I watched the coverage; I spent days calling trying to find anyone who might know something about loved ones. I saw video of the church we were married in crushed, a motel, we often stayed when we visit underneath a casino that was blown ashore. The City of New Orleans has a huge history for us and the memory of 'hanging' with close friends in the Quarter seemed out of sync with the horror of what it is now.

There is no way to say this nicely. It is one major screw-up. The Feds dropped the ball; they sucked and are now trying to cover their collective political agendas. People are dying on the street, on the street for God’s sake. Not in some 3rd World country, but in the USA. They are dying of thirst, lack of meds and so on. And we get to watch it 'Live' on CNN. While we all watch in horror, Condi Rice is at a Broadway show and shopping for shoes in New York. Apparently, only secretary of her 'own state of mind.'

Got news for you Mr. Lott, it is just not the media who is making a big deal of the lack of response.

Lets redefine looking for WMD’s shall we, Mr. Bush.

WAY MAJOR DISASTER

Nurses at Charity hospital giving each other’s IV's so they were hydrated enough to continue helping patients...

People dying on the streets, ON the streets...

Families sleeping in a leaky Superdome for 4 days...

But why go on...Turn on your TV.

Just my humble opinion, of course.

The hills are alive with the sound musac

I love music. I think your life is always best when it is set to some form of music, your own personal soundtrack, as it were.

Depending on where you are or where music will always best define that moment long after the actual occasion…hopefully, in some cases, it can even enhance the memory or dim the pain of the time.

With that thought in mind, I am always a bit taken back by the choices made by advertisers and the music they choose. As an example, GM is using Rock-n-Roll classic to sell their American icons, the Chevrolet and the ‘Caddy.’

In the way old days, the theme song was “See the USA in your Chevrolet.”

Today, it is Led Zepplin and the Hollies. Let me be the first to say the Obvious, these are British bands. Duh!

Zepplin is best placed in my memory bank for other reasons other then cars. It is a memory of being 17 and emptying a Marlboro cigarette and repacking it with “grass”. It was my best friend, Ken, and I trying our first marijuana cigarette literally, since we were clueless on how one smoked this stuff.

The oddest choice of music for selling a car goes, hands down, to Toyota. They are actually using a jazzed up version of “What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor?”

In the 6th grade, my folks grudgingly bought me 2 Rock albums. One was the Brothers Four sing Lennon and McCartney (to this day I still can only sing “She Loves You” in a melodic 4 part harmony while wearing a cardigan sweater). The other Rock album was The Kingston Trio including such smash hits as “MTA”, “Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley”, and what do you do with afore mentioned drunken sailor.

I for one think Mothers Against Drunk Drivers should get all over Toyota’s collective misguided butts. (Of course, that might be a whole different article altogether.)

The other day, I heard that Gary Lewis and the Playboys would be playing at the Silver Reef Casino. I loved that the commercial that defined ‘Gary and the boys’ as one of the great bands from the mid-60s, not all of the 60’s mind you, just the mid-60’s.

Since that time, I have finished grade school, went onto high school, got a job and retired. And yet, Gary is till playing “This Diamond Ring”. Yikes!

One final note, as it were. I believe that Rap music has its roots in square dancing. Callers at a dance and a rapper have the same tone inflections.

Try it, you would be amazed.

And you wonder if Bush carried Washington State? It looks Doobie-us

Losing My Religion

Oh, my…..

Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition, a candidate for the Republican nomination for President in 1988, supported Bush's re-election last year and said he believed Bush is blessed by God…Robertson also told viewers of his "700 Club" television program that God had told him Bush would win re-election in a "blowout."

Speaking on the same program Monday, Robertson said “killing Chavez would be cheaper than starting a war to oust him. Getting rid of Chavez would stop Venezuela from becoming a ‘launching pad’ for communist influence and Muslim extremism," Robertson said.
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said. "We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator."

The fundamental problem with Fundamentalists would appear to be a lack of any type of tolerance or love for their fellow man. It is ‘their way’ or the ‘highway to hell.’ Apparently, this now includes actually offing any person who disagrees with them.

No turning the other cheek for this crowd. Let’s turn loose another Eric Rudolph and blow up some more medical clinics and the Olympics. If this should occur anywhere in the world, but here…we call these folks ‘terrorists.’

We focus on ‘nut job’ clerics in the Middle East when they talk about killing people. Here, we just refer to them as folks with a ‘personal point of view.’ I struggle to see the difference at times.

I for one am growing weary on a few levels, but lately it does seem to focus in one arena.

Slowly, well maybe not so slowly, the conservative right-wing Christians have come to believe that they are entitled by God to tell the rest of the world what to think. Let me be very clear that I have no issue in declaring that I am a Christian. I have no qualms in what I believe or whom I believe I ultimately am held responsible to.

In that vein, I am tired of my beliefs being highjacked by those who would use the name of God to further their personal agenda and platforms. I guess for me it makes very little difference where these religious leaders currently live, Baghdad or Virginia.

In the end, the true nature of these leaders tend to ‘pop’ to the surface, and generally that reality has very little to do with the God I believe in. I am not as naïve as to believe that either the ‘right’ or the ‘left’ has the definitive answer to anything; but, as a unified group, a great deal can be achieved.

Whether it was Jim “pass the Kool-Aid” Jones, those fabulous Bakkers (Jim and Tammy Faye) or Jimmy “How much is that hooker in the window?” Swaggert, there has never really been a shortage of nut cases preaching the word of God. It can be argued that many Americans sent money to these clowns; usually those who could least afford it.

But now it would seem we have a much larger base of support for the likes of Pat Robertson and so on. I will give you that at times I am amused and entertained by the comedy channel, better known as the Trinity Broadcasting Network. I believe Benny Hinn rivals Benny Hill for sheer comic relief.

I just never thought that it would come to a point where these fools actually swayed any opinion, let alone an entire country.

Well That Was Wayyyy Kewl

Comfortably Numb (Gilmour, Waters)

"Hello?Is there anybody in there?
Just nod, if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now, I hear you're feeling down.
Well, I can ease your pain…get you on your feet again.
Relax,
I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts….
can you show me where it hurts?”

This was a very fun weekend. I sense a trip to the ‘Betty Ford Clinic’ may, in fact, be in order.

Some of the highlights included NOT actually strangling the young store associate at the Lowe’s paint department…

We had a delightful mini-steak meal / snack while listening to the tragic story of the Costco sample woman who was killed by a faulty appliance made by slave laborer in China or Kentucky. It was one of those Third World nations.

Well, the rather amazing part of this evening was watching people who were clearly impressed and could not wait to have their homes inspected by the nice gentleman who wove his tragic tales of faulty smoke detectors and cheap, shoddy construction.

I think P.T. Barnum had an expression for this. Several “suckers” were being birthed right there in the banquet room of the Black Forest Restaurant.

But the Best part of the weekend happened at a place I never would have suspected…the company picnic.

For much of our lives, we interact with people on so many different levels. Some are the best of friends, while others float in and out as people we ‘kinda’ know. I spend time with ‘old friends’, much more literally these days it seems, and with folks I sort of know.

There was definitely laughing, dancing and drinking…and a clear absence of ‘political jockeying’ that can normally be seen at these functions.

More than anything, I enjoyed a conversation with a person I have just recently begun to appreciate. The conversations started out pretty light…how are the kids, dogs, golf game and continues on.

At some point, I shared that my biggest plan after I retired was to go home, perhaps indulge in some wacky tobacco and listen to “Dark Side of the Moon”, all of which I did accomplish.

When you toss out any albums done by Pink Floyd, and so on, I usually expect to get a pretty similar reaction from my engineer friends. The usual reaction is somewhere between “I love the videos!” to “What song did they do?”

I listened to a response that was so full of passion and with a much deeper appreciation of Floyd’s music than I have had the pleasure of hearing in a long time. The conversation went from casual banter to a real sharing of thoughts and ideas.

My admiration for this person went well ‘off the scale’ as of that evening!

Later, I got really drunk and danced the night away.

I heard that I had a really good time and was even witty at some point.

Go figure.

Ok This is the Final, Final Warning...Sorta

OK, time to annoy some of my more Republican friends. I don’t mean to do this as a rule; but, sometimes it is just bound to happen.

It does amaze me how well Karl Rove manages to fly under the radar in the world of politics. To many, he is relatively ‘unknown’, he has played the role of a quiet support guy rather well. He is best depicted in the documentary/investigative film “Bush’s Brain.” In his defense, he is clearly one of the best at planning and laying out strategy when it comes to running a campaign. In some circles, he would be referred to as the “It Guy” or in a lesser degree, a “Turtle”.

We all know a Rove in our lives. This is the person who scurries about and whispers into the ear of whoever is ‘in charge’. He or she sets the tone for who is ‘in’ and who is ‘out’ of favor. Facts rarely enter into the equation and taking the high road is not something that is nearly as important as covering your tracks or forwarding your agenda.

Rove is the Master of the Whisper Campaign. This is the level of communications somewhere between the grapevine and official documented policy and so on. You know the drill… during the presidential campaign, it was used to whisper that John McCain had a really bad temper and was a ‘bubble or so off’ from his military service. Yep, never trust those POW’s.

When it was first revealed / suspected that someone in the Whitehouse may have inadvertently leaked the name of CIA agent, Valerie Plame, to the media George W declared he would fire that person. Guess what? It looks like Karl might be your man. He admitted he probably said something to someone, but as he recalls he thinks it was probably ‘after the fact’ or something like that…


"Karl's got my complete confidence. He's a valuable member of my team," Bush said in his strongest defense yet of Rove, the architect of his presidential campaigns.

Oh? So you were going to fire anyone… well, except Rove.

Year’s back, when I was working as a grunt, there was an issue where someone was painting a flying horse on the outside of some of the tanks at the refinery. The winged horse, of course, was the logo for the dreaded Mobil refinery just next door. Then it became BP, then Tosco and now a Conoco Phillips and soon to be a ride at Disneyland north.

Well, to say our planner was ‘pissed’ would be a major misunderstanding of this Karl Rove of the oil industry. He was going to find out who was doing it and fire them. So the next day, it was discovered it was his Father-in-Law who was the misunderstood artist. Firing became transferring and so on.

So does this mean George W will rethink his approach on Stem Cell research or Social Security or even Iraq?

I’m sure he is waiting to see what Karl Rove thinks.

And So it Continues

I was standing in my kitchen in South Carolina the morning of 9/11. I had come in from the sweltering heat, to get a bottle of water from the fridge, and happened to glance up at the TV. As a rule CNN was usually on and for a moment I thought perhaps I had inadvertently turned on one of the movie channels. Clearly what I was seeing had to be a Bruce Willis movie, it certainly couldn’t be live television. Why would CNN be showing a jet liner careening into the world trade center?

Like the rest of the US, I spent endless hours watching the coverage. At times in disbelieve and always with a huge weight pushing down on my heart. My daughter called and asked what this all meant, I recall telling her that I was only certain that the world had officially changed. We all knew someone who was affected, I had no connection to any of those murdered that morning, but like so many knew of someone who was stranded somewhere in the world.

A former neighbor in the Los Angeles area described how eerie it was to suddenly go to no air traffic. If you have lived in the area you probably take for granted the number of small planes pulling banners, police and news copters up to the jet liners flying in and out of LAX and John Wayne that fill the sky. Then to suddenly have that be gone, the silence must have been deafening.

9/10 was the very last time I actually walked a friend to the gate in Savannah, there was no fuss any bother. You simply said have a good flight and that was it. You were free to roam the airport…. that seems a lifetime ago.

I reflect a bit more on this since the recent attacks in London. In fact I actually know many more folks in London, then I did in New York. I find myself watching the coverage and in other ways seeing if a name comes up of someone I know.

I am impressed with the swiftness of the British resolve and the straightforward approach of dealing with this tragic way of life. Sadly a way of life that is all of ours these days.

In the following days, a 26-year-old Brazilian man was shot to death in a subway, a tragic case of mistaken identity. I am sure fueled with a great deal of dread and adrenalin off the scale.

The fact is I feel badly for this young man and his family and I feel equally as bad for the police. I will not sit and play Monday Morning QB on what the mood and disposition of a country under attack should be. The wack jobs are currently winning and all our lives are forever, it seems, thrown into a blender of agitation and a somewhat well reasoned paranoia.

Last week the power went out here. A drunk drove into a light pole, but for a second our minds turned to other options and that mere step change in our thinking makes me realize how much our lives have all changed since 9/11.

Is There No End????????????

Now what?

The newest ‘train wreck’ to hit the television airwaves is “Rock Star INXS”.

As some of you may recall, INXS was a rather big band till the poor choice of lead singer (Michael Hutchence) to end his life in 1997 changed their course.

It is a decision based on a love affair gone bad. Hell, I would have been dead years ago based on that loose reasoning.

The entire premise of this show is moving 15 lead singers, from all over the world, into a mansion in LA….a television concept never tried before….well, on the 15 singers part anyway.

Did I mention that all of these “stars” are fit and for the most part are not trolls? Apparently, we’re not looking to fill Mama Cass’s boots here. This show will be pretty predictable and will run the full gambit from the confessional room to the deep brooding secrets of some and the apparent stupidity of others.

It is clear some of these folks can sing, but in true ‘reality’ style, this will have nothing to do with the success of the show. This show will be a winner because it requires the viewer to simply watch and enjoy the edited and well thought out drama that will play out.
Of course, the cleavage can’t hurt and the “lets drink at 10 in the morning” will go a long way to assure the show’s success.

I will be watching, even though it does conflict with WWE’s “Monday Night Raw”. Now there is some serious reality ….did you see where Hulk Hogan came out of retirement and won the tag team…?

Like I said, I will be watching. And why? 2 words… Brooke Burke

So here is the deal, what ‘reality’ show won’t there be soon?

Bobby Brown is going to have his own ‘reality’ show, rumored to be titled “One Toke Over the Line”

Britney Spears has her show, which should be called, “My Other Home is a Single Wide.”

Can “Neverland, the real Wacko Story” be far behind?

I’m back.

Not mine,,,but pretty funny

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew,homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
A question for you about specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9.
The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of mestrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24.
The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27.
How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16).
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident youcan help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan, Jim

Don't Bogart that Arrogance

WASHINGTON - Federal authorities may prosecute sick people whose doctors prescribe marijuana to ease pain, the Supreme Court ruled Monday, concluding that state laws don't protect users from a federal ban on the drug.
Associated Press

Please! …Walk to the back of the church and sit down.

Sorry folks, not a big user of Mary Jane myself; well, not since the 80’s, but this is unbelievable.

To what greater good could this ruling possibly serve? So, you are dying of cancer and some Fed gets to tell you, your doctor, and your state that you can’t smoke a joint to ease the pain?

It is not lost on me that this is the same Federal Government that is insisting it will Not finance the ‘War on Meth-‘ in states. This is more of a local matter.

Right, the difference is so clear…?

When did the care and comfort of people take a back seat to the “hatched-again” agenda for our lives? Every once in a while, I think that maybe the Bush thing will be ‘OK’ and pretty soon it will be back to a level of tolerance and so on.

BUT, it frightens me…on Not a very small level, that each and every day we slip a bit farther back in time.

Maybe it isn’t the intolerance of the 50’s, but every once in a while you have to wonder?

Maybe in a society where the ‘Top News’ coverage is surrounding Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton, it should be of no real surprise that there is almost an air of ‘nonchalant’ concern.

I get that the Democrats are no better than the Republicans.

In fact, in many ways Carl Rove has worked long and hard to add serious Diversity to the major roles in the Government. Something the Democrats talked about, but never really did.

But, yet I feel nervous.

It might be from living in a town that is full of churches and trucks with “Proud to be a Redneck” stickers under their Confederate flags.

I should be able to sleep better knowing that drug-crazed cancer patients won’t be roaming the streets of our little town working on stem cell research.

Smells Like a Bad Idea

And they call it ”Puppy Love”….

It is a rainy Tuesday morning and I am cruising the other channels on TV. George W is on all the majors with a press conference from the Rose Garden, so the pickings are slim...not to be confused with Slim Pickens, whose movie collection can be purchased on channel 14?

I stumble across “Good Morning, Canada”, eh. There, crooning to his heart’s content, is Paul Anka. He is warbling through a nightclub - Big Band version of “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi. It ends up sounding like a song written and performed by Bob Jovi, a retired sanitation worker from Newark. This may be the best parody I have ever seen; well, if it had been done on SNL (Saturday Night Live)

But no, this dude is for real. Turns out this Canadian crooner has just released an entire album of hits that he has added his personal spin to them. He covers Bon Jovi to Van Halen.

It is right out of the musical version of the “Twilight Zone.” The perfectly coiffed and tanned Anka rips through his version of “Wonderwall” by Oasis and leaves you wanting more…more sleep, more vodka, more anything…other than this.

He then takes on Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” the way your 80-year-old Father takes on parallel parking. It’s probably going to get done, but some metal will get banged up and it is going to take a while.

So I’m hoping to hear that this is all some twisted Canadian humor…until I realize that there is no such thing as Canadian humor…Rich Little, need I say more.

I listen to the interview and learn that Paul is quite keen on this whole concept album. He hopes that the original artists will enjoy his remake of their work. We are still waiting to hear back from Kurt Cobain.

Mr. Anka goes on to say that he wants Everyone to take this work seriously.

I also am hoping for a Beatle Reunion and I think my odds are better.

Love is blind

Sometimes it just takes a friend to get you through.
Other times you find that one that loves you no matter what

There is a pair of the most unlikely companions in our neighborhood. They couldn't be more different. One was born to fly and see the world, while the other much more prone to stay at home and be a local. They come from different backgrounds and different families. And yet...

This most unlikely pair are outside my office window as I type. For months I have watched them and tried to figure out the connection. They are rarely seen apart.
This morning, while being walked by our dogs, I came within 10 feet of these 2. The white domestic goose runs cover for his injured Canadian wild counterpart. Clearly you can see the injured wing that stops the flight of the once mobile bird. No more will she fly away with the rest of the flock she came in with last fall.

Yet a new bond has formed, a new pairing that goes without a lot of fanfare.

A lesson that will probably be missed by many.

To me it is just "way" cool to watch.

Yet Another Subject I Should Avoid

Politics-preaching minister quits
The Associated Press


WAYNESVILLE, N.C. - A Baptist preacher accused of running out nine congregants who refused to support President Bush resigned yesterday.
"I am resigning with gratitude in my heart for all of you," the Rev. Chan Chandler said as he left a closed-door meeting at East Waynesville Baptist Church.
Congregants of the 100-member church in western North Carolina have said that Chandler endorsed Bush from the pulpit during last year's presidential campaign and said that anyone who planned to vote for Democratic nominee Sen. John Kerry needed to "repent or resign."
The church members said he continued to preach about politics after Bush won re-election, culminating with a church gathering last week in which the nine members said they were ousted.





I could be wrong here, but isn’t it weird to assume God has a political agenda? The afore mention Reverend Chan Chandler, clearly thinks that the G in God stands for the 1st letter in the GOP. All this time I was under the mistaken understanding that GOP was an acronym for Grand Old Party, not God’s Own Party. No separation of church and state here.

You sir are an idiot.

You don’t get to change the rules on your watch. This is like adding a rider to perfectly good bill just to push your personal agenda. This is a form of religious pork belly politics.

I have said it before and I am happy to say it again, if Bush is God’s man, the election would not have been close.

The other side of the coin here of course is that the “Right Rev Chanster” has the world broken down into 2 camps. The election of course was close because the US is clearly in total moral decline and Satan worshipping Demodemons occupy almost 50% of the country. Most of the legions of non-Bush fans of course live in the big cities and left coast. Clearly this self appointed leader of the moral right is correct in booting folks from his church. No membership to the Republican Party? No ticket to the pearly gates, sorry it says so right there in the Bible, somewhere, I’m sure.

But wait, I voted for Bush when he ran against “Box of Rocks Gore”. At the time my believe in God was the same as the last election when I didn’t vote for Bush. Could it be that there those of us in this country who simply vote for the right person for the right reasons? It’s a concept. But of course this can be explained away quite simply. I clearly have no idea who God is and thus voted for the Anti-Bush. Yes that must be it. In a world filled with wonder and awe, the evangelistic groups have it nailed. They are right and we are dammed.

Based on my limited understanding of God, I always kind of thought of God as a universal being. I did not know that in fact not only was God an American but he was also Republican. I wonder how this breaks down on a global vision. In the UK would God then be Labour? In Canada is God a member of the Reform Party? Or Does God just send ambassadors to these other places while God stays here at home. Of course now it makes sense, that’s why God wanted George W, he does the legwork for God.

Tonight on QFC

According to Webster’s the following is the definition of the word “limited“:

lim·it·ed, lim·it·ing, lim·its
To confine or restrict within a boundary or bounds.
To fix definitely; to specify.

I was sitting at an intersection today and glanced over to see a Chrysler PT Cruiser. This is a definite hit for Chrysler and is clearly designed to bring back the nostalgic days of cruising the beaches of California in your “Woody”…in some cases, depending on the appearance of the beach crowd, it could indicate cruising the beach with a “Woody”. But, hey, different song, different verse; I’m Henry the Eight I am….

The odd part of the PT is that I never have seen them cruising the beaches of Sunny California, as I have on the country roads of the Pacific Northwest. Did all the old surfers move up here? Is the balding guy beside me in traffic in Bellingham, WA really named “Moon Doggy”?

Chrysler has sold a ton of these cars? Wagons? Faux “Woody’s”?
That being said, why do they say “Limited” on them?

Should that not indicate an ending point?

A set number?

There are no more to be had so you are out of luck-type deal? I think not. The term here is the sale of these is limited to the number of people who will buy them.

Years ago, there was a great line where a fake ‘Orson Wells’ declared, “We will sell no wine till you pay for it.” It was a classic take off on the “We will sell no wine before it’s time.”
It was truly an odd advertisement for a company that sold wine with a twist top. Regardless, it would appear this is where the use of the word ‘Limited’ was heading towards.

“This week only, you can buy this Limited Edition…”Miniature of the Mercedes that Princess Di Died In.” …now there is a tongue twister.

Is this different than the number on collectible plates? Is there an end to the numbers and does it say that on YOUR letter of authenticity? Will I be one of few who will have the plate featuring the Lennon Sisters riding around with Lawrence Welk’s “Woody”?

I wonder if it might be wise to offer a “Limited” edition of the Whiner(?) ...perhaps a commemorative, all porcelain plate, to set us apart from other BLOGs?

I might be missing the boat here.

Up in Smoke

What were we smoking?

The other day I heard this song on Deep Tracks, one of the many channels on XM satellite radio. I never really paid all that much attention to the lyrics. I found myself singing along and realized this song makes no sense at all.


Ain’t it foggy outside
All the planes have been grounded (ok, with you so far)
Ain’t the fire inside?
Let’s all go stand around it.. (Wait, what fire are we talking here?)
Funny, I’ve been there
And you’ve been here
And we ain’t had no time to drink that beer
’cause I understand you’ve been running from the man
That goes by the name of the sandman
He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye
Of a hurricane that’s abandoned deep, very deep

Ain’t the years gone by fast
I suppose you have missed them
Oh, I almost forgot to ask
Did you hear of my enlistment? (What the f*#*?)

Funny, I’ve been there
And you’ve been here
And we ain’t had no time to drink that beer (Smokey beer?)

’cause I understand you’ve been running from the man
That goes by the name of the sandman
He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye
Of a hurricane that’s abandoned (ADA)

I understand you’ve been running from the man
That goes by the name of the sandman
He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye
Of a hurricane that’s abandoned (yawn)

I understand you’ve been running from the man
That goes by the name of the sandman
He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye
Of a hurricane that’s abandoned (Write another verse already)

I understand you’ve been running from the man
That goes by the name of the sandman
He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye
Of a hurricane that’s abandoned (99 bottles of beer on the wall)

Next week we study “A Horse With no Name” also known as the mushroom contribution to top 40.

Bizarro World

STOP IT

May 4, 2005
After spending seven long years apart, MARY KAY LETOURNEAU and VILI FUALAAU have happily reunited and are now planning to wed. But many wonder -- did Vili ever date other girls when Mary Kay was serving time in prison for their headline-making affair?
"I did," he tells our JANN CARL while shopping for a tuxedo. "It's not important though."

Do you remember in the old “Superman” comics there was this mirror world called “Bizarro World?” It was the place where everything was completely opposite to the real world. ‘Sup’ was the bad guy and so on and he loved Kryptonite.


So here is the deal…perhaps, this is what is happening with Mary Kay Letourneau, the infamous teacher gone pedophile. She goes to prison for sleeping with her 12-year-old student and now has been adorned with the new title of “America’s darling” who is being at last, reunited with her long lost ‘soul mate.’ He is now 22 and finally getting over those pesky zits, changing voice and so on.

Is it any wonder why we can’t toss the ultimate Peter Pan, a.k.a. “The King Of Pop,” into jail for sleeping with children at the world-renowned resort known as ‘Neverland.’ It seems that the meaning is really, ‘will never land in prison’, more so than a reference to the literary classic.

I actually watched an interview with Mary Kay and her beau. It seems he has waited a long time to finally marry his 6th grade teacher. He went out with some girls his own age while she was prison, but they were lacking what Mary Kay had, the money to pay for a room at Motel 6 and a ‘Happy Meal.’

Well, if he has a thing for older women, just hang tight, dude; the aging process should be kicking into high gear in a few years. The interviewer spoke to these two as if they were the cutest little couple on the face of the earth.

She is a p-e-d-o-p-h-i-l-e!!!!

For crying out loud, where is this possible other than in Bizarro World?

My favorite line from the show was when a delighted journalist announced that the next day the Catholic Church would be weighing in on the upcoming nuptials.

I guess…if you need some religious input on sex with children, this would be the best place to go.

Now I'm Listening

You find the best advice from the most unusual sources.

I am currently working at a place that I haven’t been into for over ten years. It is amazing how quickly one slips back into the ‘old routines’ and so on. There are many new faces and an equal amount of old faces that soon become familiar again. There are old friends and there are old flavors of the other variety.

When I first worked there, I was 19 years old. I was assigned as a ‘helper’ to a ‘Mountain of a Man’ who had been there for quite some time. This dude made Grizzly Adams look like a clean cut Wall Street type. Everything about this guy was super sized… from his physical appearance to his very presence.

I often thanked God that this man took me under his wing as opposed to the other options. He made my first year in the industry a learning place and I have never forgotten that.

Over the years, I would see him as he continued to ‘drift in and out’ of the refinery. He was always that ‘giant of a man’, who you knew could crush you with one hand, should he be so inclined. Like I said, he had a presence.

On my return to this work place, I ran into him again, now some thirty + years later. He is not quite the towering giant that he once was. Time has worn him down a bit and he moves a little slower than he once did. But when I stopped to talk with him, he looked at me and in a second, his eyes got the same twinkle that I fondly remember as a 19 year old starting out in a career. We talked for a few moments and both moved on to what we were doing.

A few days later the occasion arose to have him come work in the area that I am working. I drove out to meet him and discussed what we were hoping to accomplish and frankly, to do some catching up. I was amazed what he recalled. He told me stuff about the old times that I had long forgotten.

He reflected that for years, he had often told others how amazed he was that I was always willing to climb up and down 100-foot towers to get whatever job needed to be done…completed. He commented that nothing short of a fire would have inspired him to do the same. He then said that about a year into the job, he realized I was just going down to have a cigarette.

A lot of people in my life have told, asked and pleaded with me to quit smoking. I have always taken the advice and direction with a certain amount of interest. I have yet to find the will to actually quit.

The other day I was driving through the plant and was waved down by my old friend. He asked for a ride to recover a forklift that he was sure was taken from the ‘rightful owner.’ He is very clear that all equipment is HIS when he needs it. He took a few minutes to pull his girth into my truck and off we went looking for that elusive forklift. As we drove along, he noticed the pack of ‘smokes’ in my truck.

He looked at me and said, “You know a few years back, and I ran into John O at the Big Scoop in town. (John O was a character all to himself and to us who knew him.) John told me that he had just quit smoking.” He went on to say, “I think it was too late. John died six months later of cancer.”

My giant friend then looked me in the eye and said. “You know a guy can probably keep smoking till he is 55 and after that…the body kinda breaks down. How old are you now?”

I told him I was 53.

He looked at me with such intense concern for a moment.

“Then you need to start getting ready to quit,” he said as he got out of my truck and slowly walked away..

I guess we never know what God’s messengers look like for sure.

Go Wide

Apr 22, 2:34 PM EDT
New Pope Has First Meeting with Cardinals by BRIAN MURPHY, AP Religion Writer

In a surprise move, the new Pope, Benny (with a whole bunch of numbers) announced he was planning on meeting with Denny Green, the Head Coach of the Arizona Cardinals. It seems the new Papal dude is a huge fan of the Cardinals and felt that with the departure of Emmet Smith, he might be able to try out with the team as a running back. In the event this was not a possibility, there is talk of his Eminence becoming the team mascot, since he has all the really ‘cool’ outfits.

This came as a huge shock to the New Orleans Saints, since they assumed they had the ‘inside track’ on signing the Pope to a 1-year contract as a float in one of the Mardi Gras parades. The Whiner will certainly keep all of you informed of the ongoing discussions. Should a deal be struck, there will be a smoke signal sent up by the local Navajo tribe to announce the selection of a new mascot.

There are some things a writer should just leave alone…the Big Two, of course, are: politics and religion. These would also be the two groups that do more to lull us into a false sense of well being while picking our pockets. That being said, I would like to wade into the arena of religion for just a moment.

I have spent almost every waking moment of my life attempting to get a grasp of who God is and how He fits into my life. I have been everything from a Born Again Christian to a Mormon. I have tried Shamanism, Buddhism, and have taken a run at Ron L. Hubbard’s Church of Scientology. In most cases, I have failed to achieve any true sense of finding an inner peace that seems to satisfy the relentless need to find God.

Through the years of reading the Bible and so on, I always get very confused on the Catholic Church. I’m never very clear who is ‘in charge.’ I sometimes think the main focus is on the Pope and so on. Not sure where God got shuffled off to, but it must have something to do with some sort of pecking order, I guess. I was reading the other day where a group of Catholics were flocking to a water stain in Chicago. It looked like the Virgin Mary. How odd?

You actually pray to a water stain to reach God? I have apparently made far too much of my search. I need to pay closer attention to the plumbing, perhaps? If this form of religion had more organizational layers, it would qualify as the IRS.

The other part I don’t get, can you really ‘head up’ a church by being elected? I mean at 78 years old? C’mon, you can be the leader of a religion and yet, you can’t figure out how to program your VCR?

But hey, I could be wrong.

In a new attempt to thwart unattractive truck drivers from entering the US, agents have reverted to the time honored method of thumb twisting to discourage unwanted enrty.

No, You Don't Get a Gun!!!!

All the Doo-Dah Day…

I went back to work. Man, it has been a long time since I have actually worked a ‘straight job’, even longer since I actually worked out of an office scenario.

I am a ‘tad’ out of practice.

In the last two weeks, I have had my truck searched 3 times. I am never really clear on what it is they are looking for. I believe there is nothing short of fuel really worth stealing; but, hey, I am a man of simple needs.

I find it even more interesting to watch folks being searched going Into the refinery. The guards use a mirror to look for stuff under the vehicle and then peer under the hood. I suspect they are looking for bombs…either that or they are conducting a consumer study on air filters.

These are clearly the brightest and sharpest of minimum wage employees on the face of the earth. Years back, as a member of the Refinery Fire Team, we spent time with the Bomb Squad from Fort Lewis. There was one clear lesson…there is no way to actually spot a bomb.

Clearly, these guards are hoping for the world’s stupidest terrorist who will tape some sticks of dynamite with a really long fuse - pre-lit.

Years back, one of our guards was smoking a ‘joint’ on the way to work. He dropped a hot ember on his front seat. As he got closer to work, the seat caught fire and of course, being the least enlightened ‘light bulb’, he drove his car into the Refinery. Somehow, that thought crosses my mind while watching these searches.

Now, there is actually a blockade ramp that goes up and down to prevent anyone from rushing the main gate entrance. I believe Evil Knievel and his sons designed it. I see it as a missed opportunity if the Garage doesn’t begin to use it for changing oil on vehicles that will eventually get caught by this.

But, more than anything, I forgot the use of the ‘radio’ (walkie-talkie for the non-refinery types) and the respective ‘call handles.’ I can now in clear conscience actually call out for Doo-Dah or Big Dick and actually get a response.

Of course, this comes from a guy whose younger brother is nick- named Big Bird.

Put Some Pants ON.....

Charles, Camilla Go to Church on Honeymoon

By MICHAEL McDONOUGH, Associated Press Writer
CRATHIE, Scotland - Prince Charles and Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, emerged from their rural estate Sunday to attend a small church service with about 200 villagers in their first public appearance since beginning their honeymoon in Scotland

Well, thank goodness, that is all over.

I couldn’t be more pleased that these two finally were able to ‘tie the knot.’ However, please, no candid shots of the honeymoon…no home made videos leaked to the Internet of the wedding night nuptials. I think it would be more than anyone could possibly handle.

Now, while there seems to have been much controversy around this marriage, even the Queen skipped the wedding; but, Camilla’s ex-husband attended (talk about your suck-ups). I for one couldn’t be happier.

First and foremost, it takes two of the most unattractive people, even by British standards, off the market. I never thought that any one person, let alone two could actually have the same dental work as Mr. ED, the talking horse. Well, ok, maybe John Elway…

The other bright note is the fact that these two lovebirds are too old to actually reproduce. This actually spares us all the sight of children with unusually large heads and ears bigger than a jumbo jet’s wingspan.

Oh, well “God bless the Queen” and all that…maybe the royal line continues to offer even more entertaining and bizarre behavior in the future. I can only speak for ‘moi’, but I rather enjoy the diversion from the real things in my life.

Chicken Run

Top Stories - AP

Inmate, Warden's Wife Found 10 Years Later
By RICHARD GREEN, Associated Press Writer
OKLAHOMA CITY - A convicted murderer and a deputy warden's wife who disappeared nearly 11 years ago have been found living together and raising chickens in Texas. The woman said she was held captive the whole time, staying with the killer out of fear her family would be harmed if she fled.

I was a little taken aback when I read the plight of this poor woman.

It seems year’s back her kidnapper was on Work Release from prison. He spent his time on Work Release at the house of the Warden, working with his ‘victim’ on her art project. The Warden states that the two did not seem overly friendly towards each other and was not too concerned to find a note from his wife saying she had gone to the store.

Later, his wife called to say she would be ‘gone for a bit’ and would explain later. Upon this bit of info, the Warden checked with the prison to see if the prisoner had come back to the prison for the evening. He had not.

There were a few more calls from the ‘victim’ and then “Poof”… nothing. How odd? Life moved on and the Warden was assigned to a new job in Oklahoma.

Here is the part I don’t get.

Apparently, the escaped convict and his ‘victim’ had settled down to a life of raising chickens. They had become very good at this, were just humming along, still running ‘a fowl’ of the law, and seemed for all purposes, to be just another happy couple. Albeit the prisoner was rumored to be a bit ‘hen pecked.’ They were very successful, were able to peck out a nice living, and continued to build on to their nest egg. In time, they ran several farms and were able to add several henhouses making the convict the cock of the walk. Well, he had walked away from prison and … okay, it’s a stretch.

So they were discovered after the story ran on “America’s Most Wanted” story on Breakfast Crooks. When freed at last, the victim originally said she would just stay at the farm and was quite content. Later, she realized she was a captive and really needed to go home to roost.

Man, this is one scrambled mess.