Coffee, tea or Alfalfa

Just some things I noticed this week:

We were at the “Super Target” the other day. Have you been to one of these? These mammoth tributes to retail, and of course the “Even More Super Wal-Mart”, are unbelievable. I think they employ more people then live in some of the surrounding small towns. It is not hard to understand the number of small businesses that are merely crushed by the mere existence of these stores. The upside being you can shed about 5 pounds by simply walking the entire store.

But I digress, like that’s unusual.

So here we are in the express check out lane in “ST”. A head of us is a middle-aged dude buying a few things that you clearly can no longer take on a plane with you.
He pays with his ATM card and then turns into my mother. He checks his receipt. Carefully folds it and places it in his wallet. He then looks in the bags to make sure everything is there, straightens his shirt and hair and slowly puts his wallet in his pocket….
I am looking at this guy like and want to scream, “Dude up here”. Just grab your shit and move on and worry about your makeup later.

A little later that day we are driving through the parking lot of another retail stadium. Standing in front of the store is a guy in a blue shirt that says in bold letters “Undercover Police” Is it just me, or is this guy totally missing the meaning of the term “Undercover”. I wonder how stupid you would have to be to actually get busted by officer obvious?


ESPN Classic is a channel that is dedicated to showing classic sports events. That being said, why is it every time I turn it on they are showing bowling?

Tom Delay announced he is withdrawing his name from the ballot for the upcoming November election. Seems to make sense since he now lives in Virginia. I actually think he looks a great deal like my realtor back in Washington. Regardless, it seems that in Texas anyone can have his or her name put on the ballot as a write in candidate. So if I can convince my wife to vote for me……

I have been saying this to my wife for years. Vacations are a drag due to all the prep work and so on. Haul half your possessions in suitcases to an airport and then haul even more crap in your carry on. You then get your stuff screened and they wave wands at you after you empty your pockets. But now thanks to those darn industrious folks in the UK, I believe my original concept may have reached a point where it just makes sense.
Fly naked and carry your American Express.
As a friend pointed out, there may be some obvious problems here, but I believe those can be overcome. There would be a 1st class section , coach and of course the bovine section. In order to make flying safer the bovine group would be in the middle section of the plane, preferably in the area that was once used for luggage.