An Open Letter from Shamu

A trainer was injured during a show Wednesday at SeaWorld Adventure Park after Shamu the killer whale grabbed his foot and pulled him underwater twice, said Reuters.

The 39-year-old man was taken to a hospital and was listed in good condition, said Mike Scarpuzzi, a park official. Mike Scarpuzzi said he did not know the extent of the trainer's injuries.

"His skills and techniques, and close relationship with the whale played a major role in helping the animal calm down and allowed him to eventually swim out of the pool," Scarpuzzi said.

"While underwater, the whale opened its mouth and grabbed his foot and kept him underwater for a period of time," Scarpuzzi said, adding he didn't know how long the trainer was kept down.

Ok, ok…I did it.

Here is the deal, I am a killer whale. I am not your golden retriever. I don’t play ‘fetch’ as a rule in the wild, unless, it’s time to grab some lunch. You have me in a fish bowl. You may think it is ‘big,’ I do not.

I think the Pacific Ocean is big. There is a difference.

In the real world, I dine on seals and so on. If you insist on dressing like a seal, you ‘latex-wearing freak’, I will in turn assume you are a seal, as well, and treat you accordingly. This would include dragging you under water to see how long you can hold your breath.

I get that you think it is normal behavior for you to ride on my back, have me jump through hoops and be thrilled that some fat woman from South Dakota finds me ‘adorable.’

None of the above is a normal behavior pattern for me.

Hanging out in a pod and having a bunch of places I can visit is normal for me. Have you seen whales giving rides in the San Juan Islands? I think not.

Hey, while I am on this rant, what is with the mackerel? I know you got seals in here, what are the chances of tossing ME one of those once in a while. Let’s give the 5th grade class tour a real neat story to tell Mommy and Daddy when they get home.

And is there any chance I could get some curtains in here?
A little privacy would be nice…

How would you and the redhead from the concession stand like to have everybody watch you two do the ‘wild thing?’

Would you write that as being “educational?”

I thought not.

Shamu