Years ago I was fairly clueless when it came to anything to do with tools and what to use them for. I was not a very handy guy. Oh sure I owned a hammer and a few screw drivers, but that was pretty much the extent of it. The along came a friend in California who changed all that. We will just call him “J’ to protect his identity. He was kind enough to come over to our house and look at a door that leaked every time it rained. In California this was rare, so I had originally thought about just living with it. Keep in mind; we had lived in this house for almost 2 years when we were suddenly woken by an odd sound. My wife and I looked around and tried to figure out what that strange mechanical noise was. Even our new puppy Molly was confused by the sound and vibration. A few minutes later we discovered it was the furnace, a sound we had not heard for quite some time.
Anyways, “J” came over and actually took stuff down around the door and said it was interior stuff and should be exterior stuff. I simply nodded with that “deer in the headlights” look. It’s the same look I get when my wife starts talking about her job.
Pretty soon he was pulling out pieces and then putting in new things and then he used some sort of foam stuff and declared the job done. He left me a list of things to do to finalize it all, painting or something like that. I’m pretty sure I never actually got around to that.
What it did do was fascinate me to a whole concept, fixing stuff my self. To say my poor wife had to endure many failed projects would be a touch of an understatement. Oh sure I could demo the main bathroom, which I did one day while she was at work, but I really hadn’t given much thought to the next step. Over time things have gotten better and I know love working around things.
To this day I get nervous when “J” and his lovely wife drop by... It’s a lot like being a new guitar player and having Eric Clapton swing by to critique your playing skills.
So my garage is finally finished. I have installed cabinets and drawers along one entire side. I have tons of storage and working surfaces. I also noticed I have a ton of tools, some of them are duplicates, and then some. I still have my original hammer, but over time it seemed to be getting on in years and so I got another fresher one to help it. That one also started showing it’s age so I went looking for a new one to add to my growing collection. And here we are 12 years after the leaky door and I have 6 hammers, numerous screwdrivers and wrenches and tools I don’t even know the names of. Don’t even get me started on sockets.
Many years ago, on my search for spiritual enlightenment I was a Mormon. I was pretty fresh one to boot; I was amazed at some of the stuff and a bit disturbed by the other things. My new female friend (now my bride who is doomed to mormon hell) at the time began to ask me pointed questions about my new found religion. Some of these raised some serious doubts in my mind. The holy undies were a bit odd but the thing that got me was the concept that when I died I would get my own planet. Even though I assured her that couldn’t be right, I thought it best to check with my Bishop. After a bit of stammering and pointing out that I was still a bit too new to grasp the whole picture, he did finally admit that indeed I would be given a planet.
“Planet Jake” where only people I invited would be welcome. Since women aren’t allowed a planet of their own, all the homemade meals and so on began to make sense.
I finally looked at my Bishop and said, “I can’t even keep my garage clean, what am I going to do with a planet”.
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