Years ago I was fairly clueless when it came to anything to do with tools and what to use them for. I was not a very handy guy. Oh sure I owned a hammer and a few screw drivers, but that was pretty much the extent of it. The along came a friend in California who changed all that. We will just call him “J’ to protect his identity. He was kind enough to come over to our house and look at a door that leaked every time it rained. In California this was rare, so I had originally thought about just living with it. Keep in mind; we had lived in this house for almost 2 years when we were suddenly woken by an odd sound. My wife and I looked around and tried to figure out what that strange mechanical noise was. Even our new puppy Molly was confused by the sound and vibration. A few minutes later we discovered it was the furnace, a sound we had not heard for quite some time.
Anyways, “J” came over and actually took stuff down around the door and said it was interior stuff and should be exterior stuff. I simply nodded with that “deer in the headlights” look. It’s the same look I get when my wife starts talking about her job.
Pretty soon he was pulling out pieces and then putting in new things and then he used some sort of foam stuff and declared the job done. He left me a list of things to do to finalize it all, painting or something like that. I’m pretty sure I never actually got around to that.
What it did do was fascinate me to a whole concept, fixing stuff my self. To say my poor wife had to endure many failed projects would be a touch of an understatement. Oh sure I could demo the main bathroom, which I did one day while she was at work, but I really hadn’t given much thought to the next step. Over time things have gotten better and I know love working around things.
To this day I get nervous when “J” and his lovely wife drop by... It’s a lot like being a new guitar player and having Eric Clapton swing by to critique your playing skills.
So my garage is finally finished. I have installed cabinets and drawers along one entire side. I have tons of storage and working surfaces. I also noticed I have a ton of tools, some of them are duplicates, and then some. I still have my original hammer, but over time it seemed to be getting on in years and so I got another fresher one to help it. That one also started showing it’s age so I went looking for a new one to add to my growing collection. And here we are 12 years after the leaky door and I have 6 hammers, numerous screwdrivers and wrenches and tools I don’t even know the names of. Don’t even get me started on sockets.
Many years ago, on my search for spiritual enlightenment I was a Mormon. I was pretty fresh one to boot; I was amazed at some of the stuff and a bit disturbed by the other things. My new female friend (now my bride who is doomed to mormon hell) at the time began to ask me pointed questions about my new found religion. Some of these raised some serious doubts in my mind. The holy undies were a bit odd but the thing that got me was the concept that when I died I would get my own planet. Even though I assured her that couldn’t be right, I thought it best to check with my Bishop. After a bit of stammering and pointing out that I was still a bit too new to grasp the whole picture, he did finally admit that indeed I would be given a planet.
“Planet Jake” where only people I invited would be welcome. Since women aren’t allowed a planet of their own, all the homemade meals and so on began to make sense.
I finally looked at my Bishop and said, “I can’t even keep my garage clean, what am I going to do with a planet”.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. George Bernard Shaw Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Couldn't Make This UP
Chiquita charged in terror investigation
By MATT APUZZO, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - Banana company Chiquita Brands International said Wednesday it has agreed to a $25 million fine and admit paying a Colombian terrorist group for protection in a volatile farming region.
In court documents filed Wednesday, federal prosecutors said the Cincinnati-based company and several unnamed high-ranking corporate officers paid about $1.7 million between 1997 and 2004 to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia, known as AUC for its Spanish initials.
The AUC has been responsible for some of the worst massacres in Colombia's civil conflict and for a sizable percentage of the country's cocaine exports. The right-wing group was designated by the U.S. government as a terrorist organization in September 2001.
Oh man, what a Woody Allen movie in the making.
1st they recall peanut butter because it has e-coli happening and now this. Bad spinach, bad lettuce and really, really bad dog and cat food. Starting to think that growing your own is making more sense all the time.
But lets get back to the whole bananas for ransom deal. Is this a common thing? Is Juan Valdez really carrying coffee beans on his burro or is it more of a mule thing? How does one go about paying off guerillas in the 1st place? Who negotiates that deal? Is the protection based on volume or per bunch? If you don’t pay does somebody actually get killed or is the produce merely damaged? This whole story has a certain appeal and could be split in many ways. Is someone known as the king of bananas and in fact is this something you would be promoted to or merely inherit the title. Probably have to peel away at the story to get to the edible parts.
Once in my life I arranged for funds to be given to officials in Mexico to get parts across the border. Is that the same deal? Oh well whole different story.
Think I’ll go find an orange.
By MATT APUZZO, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - Banana company Chiquita Brands International said Wednesday it has agreed to a $25 million fine and admit paying a Colombian terrorist group for protection in a volatile farming region.
In court documents filed Wednesday, federal prosecutors said the Cincinnati-based company and several unnamed high-ranking corporate officers paid about $1.7 million between 1997 and 2004 to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia, known as AUC for its Spanish initials.
The AUC has been responsible for some of the worst massacres in Colombia's civil conflict and for a sizable percentage of the country's cocaine exports. The right-wing group was designated by the U.S. government as a terrorist organization in September 2001.
Oh man, what a Woody Allen movie in the making.
1st they recall peanut butter because it has e-coli happening and now this. Bad spinach, bad lettuce and really, really bad dog and cat food. Starting to think that growing your own is making more sense all the time.
But lets get back to the whole bananas for ransom deal. Is this a common thing? Is Juan Valdez really carrying coffee beans on his burro or is it more of a mule thing? How does one go about paying off guerillas in the 1st place? Who negotiates that deal? Is the protection based on volume or per bunch? If you don’t pay does somebody actually get killed or is the produce merely damaged? This whole story has a certain appeal and could be split in many ways. Is someone known as the king of bananas and in fact is this something you would be promoted to or merely inherit the title. Probably have to peel away at the story to get to the edible parts.
Once in my life I arranged for funds to be given to officials in Mexico to get parts across the border. Is that the same deal? Oh well whole different story.
Think I’ll go find an orange.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Is That The Smell of a Union Brewing??
Circuit City to cut more than 3,500 jobs
By MAE ANDERSON and ELLEN SIMON, AP Business Writers Wed Mar 28, 7:30 PM ET
NEW YORK - A new plan for layoffs at Circuit City is openly targeting better-paid workers, risking a public backlash by implying that its wages are as subject to discounts as its flat-screen TVs
The electronics retailer, facing larger competitors and falling sales, said Wednesday that it would lay off about 3,400 store workers — immediately — and replace them with lower-paid new hires as soon as possible.
The laid-off workers, about 8 percent of the company's total work force, would get a severance package and a chance to reapply for their former jobs, at lower pay, after a 10-week delay, the company said.
And I actually enjoyed shopping there…
Years ago I worked for Holiday gas in the upper peninsula of Michigan. It was a 24-hour convenience store similar to 7/11 and I was a young married guy looking for work. I was given the welcome aboard speech and told about all the potential growth possibilities with this fine group. I was promptly put on nights and began my climb to the top of corporate America. Plus all the nudie mags I could read at night to boot.
The longer you worked of course the sooner you would be looking at $1.50/hr and limited bennies. I assumed I would make day shift very soon and the hot dog machine was mine. I worked hard to achieve this ambition, and they said not going to college would hurt me. The 30th day approached and I was looking at a nice singlewide mobile home on 5 acres, with a snowmobile thrown in. All of this for only $9,000 dollars, life was good. On the 28th day I was fired for stealing $20.00 from the register. Well they told me my receipts did not match and I was $20 off so they could assume I had stolen it.
Ok, so maybe this is the same deal on the fools at Circuit City. How the hell do you clowns sleep at night?
See you at Best Buy.
By MAE ANDERSON and ELLEN SIMON, AP Business Writers Wed Mar 28, 7:30 PM ET
NEW YORK - A new plan for layoffs at Circuit City is openly targeting better-paid workers, risking a public backlash by implying that its wages are as subject to discounts as its flat-screen TVs
The electronics retailer, facing larger competitors and falling sales, said Wednesday that it would lay off about 3,400 store workers — immediately — and replace them with lower-paid new hires as soon as possible.
The laid-off workers, about 8 percent of the company's total work force, would get a severance package and a chance to reapply for their former jobs, at lower pay, after a 10-week delay, the company said.
And I actually enjoyed shopping there…
Years ago I worked for Holiday gas in the upper peninsula of Michigan. It was a 24-hour convenience store similar to 7/11 and I was a young married guy looking for work. I was given the welcome aboard speech and told about all the potential growth possibilities with this fine group. I was promptly put on nights and began my climb to the top of corporate America. Plus all the nudie mags I could read at night to boot.
The longer you worked of course the sooner you would be looking at $1.50/hr and limited bennies. I assumed I would make day shift very soon and the hot dog machine was mine. I worked hard to achieve this ambition, and they said not going to college would hurt me. The 30th day approached and I was looking at a nice singlewide mobile home on 5 acres, with a snowmobile thrown in. All of this for only $9,000 dollars, life was good. On the 28th day I was fired for stealing $20.00 from the register. Well they told me my receipts did not match and I was $20 off so they could assume I had stolen it.
Ok, so maybe this is the same deal on the fools at Circuit City. How the hell do you clowns sleep at night?
See you at Best Buy.