Oh sure, it all goes well until someone notices the minor flaws in your logic…just a series of random thoughts tied together with no apparent reasoning.
My wife always thought it was romantic that I always referred to her as Princess; until the day she heard me also use it as a ‘term of endearment’ on our dog.
When you are dating and you have a sore back, you can usually count on a back rub and words of encouragement. After 13 years of marriage, the most likely response is being asked if you know where the Advil is located.
A friend of mine told me that there were concerns about Cougar sightings at the refinery he works at in Washington State. He forwarded a note with the attachment from the security folks at the facility in regards to the sighting.
I need to point out something here…it brings a minor step change to this advice. In today’s culture, the term “cougar” is used to describe attractive woman over the age of 40. That being said, I doubt this was the intent of the note where my buddy works. Regardless, it does certainly make for a different look at things:
General Advice About Cougar Encounters
“The general advice to avoid being eaten by a cougar is to travel in groups. If you encounter a cougar by yourself or with your children, stop, make yourself look as big as possible, and pick up small children and put them on your shoulders to make you appear even larger. Aggressively defend your position.
The idea is to deter their attack by making them think that it isn't going to be easy for them. Pick up a branch or a rock to help fight them if needed. They are just big kitty-cats, so you don't want to appear as smaller prey to them. In particular, running away makes them think you are prey, and will encourage an attack. Yell for help by screaming ‘cougar!’ or something similarly specific rather than just help!”
I like the advice about putting your child on your shoulder; if all else fails, I guess you just toss the kid at the cougar and run for it.
Driving with a cell phone usually results in the following things:
Your ability to use a turn signal goes away
Your sense of direction and speed are severely hindered.
You suddenly develop a sense of royalty about your persona.
You could find my SUV in your ashtray if I haven’t had my coffee.
This week’s favorite company ad on a truck:
“The critter , getter , ridder guys”.
The bottom of the advertisement included a quote from Psalms with no reference to all creatures great and small.
