A Little Dark Humor

This is an old joke. I like it, so I will retell it.

Ten years ago, a young man heads up into the foothills near his home to go hunting. He has never hunted before, but it is something he feels will go a long way towards defining who he is.

As he enters a clearing, he sees a brown bear at the edge of the tree line. He slowly and carefully takes aim, shoots and kills the bear. He then proceeds to load the bear into his truck and take it to have it stuffed.

Later that evening as he is getting out of his truck to enter his home, a large polar bear appears from the shadows. The bear looks at him and begins to speak. “You killed one of my smaller brothers today, Ted, and now, I’m going to make you pay, so you never do this again.”

The bear then proceeds to beat Ted senseless. The bear leaves Ted battered and broken in his driveway and then slips back into the cover of night. It takes months for Ted to fully recover, all the while giving him time to reflect on everything that has occurred.

The following spring, Ted once again gets his rifle and heads off into the woods, determined to define himself as a man. Once again he enters the clearing and this time he spots a larger black bear. He aims and kills the bear. He then takes it to be stuffed.

He arrives home and once again the polar bear slips out of the darkness.

“You seem to have forgotten our last meeting,” states the bear. “I will say it once more, you killed another bear and you are going to have to pay.”

The bear then proceeds to not only beat Ted, but this time sexually assaults him. Leaving Ted even more broken and hurt. The bear slinks away.

Months later, Ted is almost completely recovered and vows to himself, he will never go hunting again.

The following spring, despite his better judgment, Ted once again heads to the clearing with rifle in hand.

He kills yet another bear, has it stuffed and heads home to await his attack. This time the attack is more brutal and depraved. Ted barely survives.

This pattern continues over the years. In spite of his best intentions, Ted seems powerless to curb his need for the hunt.

Finally, after another successful hunting trip, Ted heads to his home.

Waiting for him is the Polar bear.

The bear looks at Ted and says, “ It stopped being about the hunting a long time ago, didn’t it Ted?”