I have been blessed in my former life as a working person. I have worked with some of the most interesting people. And how can I have been so special to work with this many whacks?
Where to begin, the list is not a short one and sadly, longer than the list of class acts that I also got to spend time with...
Maybe the 'charmer' in Procurement who left the death threats on my phone? The company handled that well; he got three days off and the Procurement group forever branded me as a 'troublemaker'. But of course, if I had just been a good “team player” and not raised the alarm to the fact the dude was dropping the ball and costing the company a fortune. My bad. I should have known my place and stayed in the hourly ranks. But wait, that reminds me of another fun episode.
Year’s prior, when I was in fact an hourly employee, the company hired a new supervisor to run our Storehouse group. Let's call him Bob, shall we? Bob was a delightful man, full of life and energy, and a natural born psycho. The first day I saw him there was deadness in his eyes that was beyond belief. I’m thinking the company wouldn’t hire this guy, would they? But of course, they did.
Bob was a troubled man who felt that intimidation was a clear management style and never something to be passed on. He loved to threaten and hold your job as the 'ultimate threat' in his hand. Before we knew it, Bob was “dating” some of the employees. Dating usually involved a form of bullying his way into your heart. "Go out with me or the good jobs won’t come your way." You get the drift. He and I were water and oil, not a match made in heaven.
Let me be the first to say that I wouldn’t want Me working for Me either. I can be difficult and it is the charm of Me. I do not, as a rule, give respect unless it is earned. Because you have a 'title' means very little to me, I am a registered minister, because I signed up for the 'title' on the Internet. I know four of us who drank together back in California in the same bar that could all legally marry you if need be.
Bob found these qualities in me less than refreshing. He once told me, after threatening to take me into the parking lot and kick the crap out of me (yet another leadership style I find a bit lacking) that if I would support him, "the rest of the clowns" (his words) in our group would follow. I declined his generous offer.
After some time, Bob and I came to an agreement of sorts to work in harmony, not to dissimilar from a truce in the Middle East. However, his constant intimidation of the female employees in our group was getting unbearable; but, hey, 'not my problem.' I have this huge character flaw; I actually care about people and think nothing of risking my career to do what is right.
One day two of my fellow employees took me aside and explained some of the 'stuff' old Bob was doing and frankly, it wasn’t very pretty. They asked me to help. Oh man, life was pretty safe for me and now you want me to get involved. Damn it.
So I knew where Bob had worked before and made some calls to some folks I knew there. They were able to confirm that this behavior was pretty similar to what they had experienced and they were quite relieved when he went to work for us. They also pointed out that 'sweet old Bob' was perfectly capable of carrying out his threats and was very fond of guns. Now I’m really feeling more of an urge to get involved.
Problem is, who is going to believe a bunch of employees over the Boss? After all, the face we saw was clearly different than the one he showed his boss and so on. After much thought, I decided it best to go to a person I trusted in our Medical group. Our HR Manager at the time was a guy named Tony, a story to itself, huh, Lana? Trust me when I say Tony was not a person open to the 'whining' of employees.
So our Medical guy made some calls and Bob was told to go home while they investigated.
Seems simple enough, but wait, there’s more, if you order now, we will throw in the girlfriend and other boss at no extra charge.
About a day after the “take some time off while we look into it," things got weirder. Our office 'super', (let's call him, John), called the head of Safety and told him that there may be a chance that Bob might have a gun and do something drastic. (Some mood music please.)
So here I am sitting at home when I get a call from the Sheriff’s department to give Me 'heads up' that Bob is missing. They did find a note that indicated he might be a touch annoyed about his 'time off' and just might be holding me responsible for all of his newfound problems. Oh, and he has a gun, so if I see him try not to make him mad.
I figure he is probably already mad.
So two long days of looking over my shoulder, we all get called into a meeting. The Plant Manager tells us they have found Bob and he has killed himself. To say there were some mixed emotions might be a stretch. The whole thing gets a lot more sordid and it is strongly suggested that I take a few days off till things blow over.
So here I am three days later in a local bar nursing a bourbon and coke and reflecting on the 'train wreck' I was just involved with. Over in the corner of the bar sat a few of Bob’s peers from work. One of them wanders over and sits down beside me. “So what was the big deal? So he was screwing some of the chicks in the storehouse,” my new friend says. “ You know it's your fault he killed himself?"
Just when I was wondering why Management never noticed the elephant in the living room.
Like I said, I have been blessed.
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