Name Change

The name has changed.

A rather bright reader from the UK suggested the name change. Ok, he thought it might induce more hits by appealing to the porn crowd, but nevertheless from obscure comes the sublime. I have no idea what that means, but it has a great ring to it.

This name change has got me thinking about the history of the Whiner. So join me for a brief walk back down memory lane.

In the mid 1980’s, I began writing this as a running commentary on a fantasy baseball league I was in. I was unsure what to call it at first and decided to spoof one of the more popular grocery store tabloids. Thus the 'National Ink Whiner' was born, a short jump from the "National Enquirer".

The first 'Whiners' were typed in an e-mail format and then mailed to folks, as well as, the whole Xerox machine thing. I wrote that version of the 'Whiner' for about five years.

I then used the writing style in other arenas such as spoofs and takeoffs for the company I worked for at the time. Some of it was actually sanctioned by Management. I enjoyed re-writing company announcements as one example.

My favorite was in the late 90’ when I stumbled across a memo describing the selling of plants in the soon to be vacant corporate headquarters in downtown LA. It took very little to substitute the word employees for plants and then to go on to devote a section to the sale of Human Resources folks.

I also got to write for company presentations with two very talented guys, Jeff and Ron. I don’t think to this day I have ever enjoyed working more with two people on a project.

Oddly enough, during the period of writing in the late 80’s, I had a boss whose wife was actually a legitimate writer. She described my writing as “Gorilla Journalism” and "trash". Funny how life is a circle, upon our return to this area a few years back, I got a call from a friend who was in the old baseball league. He commented that my former boss, who was now a member of afore mentioned league, was wondering if I would be writing the "Whiner" again. I guess he didn’t share his wife’s views.

So then the 'Whiner' came back as the "Ink Whiner" and then over time just the "Whiner".

I like this new name. Mostly because I love the Naked Ape, 1967 book on the human condition. http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/october/12/newsid_3116000/3116329.stm

Thanks, Jeff, great idea.

Not my Job

Bullshit.

Sometimes it is just amazing to me how there is such a lack of integrity left. No one is really responsible, just following orders. "Don’t rock the boat" is more the norm than taking a stand and being honest.

Where would you like to start?

WMD, right, there is a good one. Never were, but a darn good reason to do what someone gave you the power to do. No apologies, no regrets, your ball, play whatever silly game you want. We had the chance to vote your butt out, but we didn’t. “Good on you”, as the Aussies say. Good for you that the religious right is your base of support.

Ahhh...Texas, the moral high ground, with some of the best strip bars in the world. Separation of church and state is just a bad rumor for you. I think that God cares very little about the Republican Party or the Democrats for that matter. Maybe hard to believe for some but Bush was not handpicked by God, he was hand picked by Carl Rove, who thinks he is God.

Dick Cheney...of course he is still connected to Halliburton, but luckily for him the average voter wouldn’t have actually taken the time to figure that out or even know if that is a bad thing. After all, we are more concerned about whether Brad and Jen are getting a divorce... stuff that really impacts our live. Somewhere in Iraq, there is some poor guy driving a convoy truck for Kellogg, Brown and Root (KBR...see Halliburton, division there of) and making $65,000.00. Hardly worth the risk; but, hey, way more than we are paying our armed services folks to put their life on the line.

Rumsfield, thank God for 911... otherwise you were headed out the door long ago. Truth is both you and Mayor Rudy did a good job then; but prior to that, you both had serious shortcomings. Amazing how over time, it all comes back to both of your real talents, or lack there of. Serving up Christmas dinner doesn’t quite make up for the lack of equipment you sent our children to war with. And that short arrogant “tude” is wearing pretty thin.

The Democrats are hardly without blame. Who, at best, can you offer up? You guys are so out of touch with the needs of America, it is laughable. Hillary... is this who we get next time? Thank God Bush can’t run again.

I want Michael “I am so full of myself” Moore to do a piece on the Democratic Party. You are the party of the people? Give me a break. You clowns preach and talk as good a line as corporations do about diversity and inclusion. Bush is leap years ahead of you clowns in regards to females and minorities in key positions; you folks need to hire Carl Rove. You are all talk and well short of substance. And yet, you remain clueless in your own shortcomings. I wish it weren’t so.

Now then, I feel better, a little whining is good for you every now and then. I was going to go on and on about the lack of a bunch of stuff in corporations, but, why bother. Ethics aren’t all that important when you are making tons of money and you are more concerned about your own career.

But what do I know, just working on my golf ball collection here.

the author
Posted by Hello

George W breaks out in song while being attacked by a fuzzy muppet. Donald Rumsfield looks on and commented "You don't always go to the stage with the singer you want."
Posted by Hello

You"Gotti" Be Kidding

The Sixties brought us "Leave it to Beaver", Donna Reed and Ozzie and Harriet. The old joke here being the first reference to sex was when June said to Ward,” Don’t you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night”?

The Seventies of course brought us “The Brady Bunch” and “All in The Family.” Archie and the gang were, to the say the least, a departure from the norm.

We move through time to the “Jetsons” and the “Simpsons.” I see the ‘Homer’ in me more and more.

And today we have?

I was walking our dogs the other day and was amazed and saddened to see the number of beer bottles that had been tossed and broken on the street and sidewalks. I remember being a kid and drinking beer in the back of a buddy’s car and then finding some place to the toss the empties so our folks would never find them. Tossing them on neighborhood streets never really seemed an option.

I wondered where the anger comes from to be that malicious.

Then I watched “Growing up Gotti.” Have you seen this POS on the A&E network? This is not your parent’s Donna Reed. The show is a chronicle of the lives of John Gotti’s daughter and her children. John Gotti, a.k.a.”The Dapper Don,” was a convicted mob leader from New York. (See the following link: http://www.crimelibrary.com/john/johnmain.htm)

Take a moment, much more will induce a coma, to watch this show and see for yourself the meaning of rich, white trash. You couldn’t create these characters in a ‘B’ movie and have anyone believe them….from the mother, who by herself is something you could only make up, to her three lovely boys. These three would need to work UP to the term “punks”. They live in a mansion on Long Island and they party in the Hamptons. (It adds a whole new twist to East Coast liberal, elitist snobs.)

The premise of the show seems solely based on the fact that these are the offspring of a Mafioso. Thank God, Charlie Manson didn’t have any kids.

That being said let us review three choices we have based loosely on the “Family Sitcom” of the 60’s:

1) The aforementioned “Growing up Gotti” on the ever sinking A&E Network.

2) MTV offers up the heart warming Osbournes. Different Ozzie here and if there is a Harriet, she is probably shooting up in the guesthouse with son Jack. This show needs to be on HBO or Showtime. I can’t follow most of the dialogue with all that “@)^&*&$” beeping going on. Don’t get me wrong…I’m a big Black Sabbath fan here, but I don’t need to watch the spiral of stupidity that goes on in this fun family home.

Jack and Kelly, the charming kids of Ozzie and Sharon, (the oldest daughter wanted nothing to do with the show, can only assume she is adopted) could clearly hang out with the Gotti moots in the Hamptons. The big question here for me here is, where did Sharon (who is American) get that accent from?

3) The final family based program is on Showtime. “Family Business” is a weekly series based on a dude named Adam, his Mom, his son, and his Cousin Steve. Adam is a single dad who truly does care a great deal about his son and clearly puts his son’s welfare above everything else. He owns his own business in LA and both Cousin Steve and Mom work for him. Adam is also known in the entertainment world as “Seymour Butts”. Yep, there is the show’s draw. Adam makes and distributes porn. And of course much of the show is based on watching Adam at work, as it were.

Of the three shows, oddly enough “Family Business” actually gets you to like these folks and admire the energy and love Adam shows for his son and entire family.

So there you have it, I’m thinking the Gotti and Osbourne kids drove through my neighborhood drinking beer and tossing the dead soldiers out the window of the Beamer. It couldn’t be the local youths. After all, church is on Sunday and would they be out drinking the night before?

I think not.

ole days
Posted by Hello

Things I Wonder About

Why, when the sign says Dogs On Leash, is your dog special?
And then, when my dog (still on her leash) kicks your dog’s butt, am I at fault?

How is it that you can carry two cases of beer to your car and yet still need that handicap parking space?
I’ll give you the beer gut looks bad, but a handicap?

No seriously, driving your SUV on my bumper is not really going to make me drive faster.
And no, I can’t help you find that number for your cell either.

Was there a huge demand for Tim McGraw and Nelly to record a rap country song?
And at which bar will this song be featured?

If I have to repeat the same question, ten times over the course of an evening, do you really think smoking dope isn’t affecting you?
I said if I have….

Now, when you bought that gold chain, Bubba, did the silk shirt come with it, or was it optional?
Menopause for me: a need to pause before making that purchase.

Wise advice for aspiring business leaders: “Being the man is not the same as staying the man.” Rick “ The Nature Boy" Flair, WWE.

How is it possible that Michael Jackson is not in prison awaiting trial?
It took less time to put Martha Stewart in prison for stock fraud for God’s sake.

Is there an ignore button on my TV that I can apply to Randy Moss?
The possibilities are endless.

Isn’t, not firing Dan Rather equivalent to releasing Lee Harvey Oswald because he was given bad info on the target?
I say bring back Max Headroom. (How’s that for a vague talking 'head' reference?”)

Do drug companies first find the cure and then the disease?
And then, do they find a new drug to help those screwed up by the first meds?

My Team

I didn’t grow up in Seattle. I moved there when I was 17 from Canada. I was there when the Seahawks became the 1st Pro football team in town. Thus, I have been a fan since the beginning. Because of this, I have the right to moan and complain. I get to rail against the coaching staff and assorted play calls I would never had made, assuming I would have been in a position to do so.

Not unlike my love of the Anaheim Angels…

With the Angels, it is different. I was a Mariners fan prior, but over the course of time, I became fonder of the Anaheim franchise and chose to become a fan. This happens in life, sometimes our loyalties change, and we become ardent converts. In religion, it is known as ‘seeing the light’.

There is no more vehement fan than the converted fan. You can apply this to sports, religion, or the car you drive. Once you make this discovery, you find it harder to take it when your team makes errors; and yet you make a distinction between the coaches and the team. You are loyal to the team, but feel free to suggest minor changes (fire the bum) to improve the outcome.
I think the one thing that remains constant is the way you are willing to defend your team against critics who are not fans of your team.

As I said earlier, I moved here when I was 17. In fact, at 17, the United States was the third country I had lived in. My parents brought me here and it changed my life forever.

The first thing I got to do upon arriving in Seattle was to sign up for the Draft. In 1969 at the height of the Vietnam War, this was no minor issue. In Canada, we were seeing kids my age heading the other way.

I opted to accept this. I really didn’t understand the war thing, but I knew I liked where I was living.
Years later I sought my citizenship here. I had in fact become a fan. I still am.

The one thing that is different about being a new citizen versus being a sports fan, I get to vote. I get to be an active part of the selection process that picks the ‘coaching staff’. I get to be upset with the current staff and work to make a difference. What I don’t do, not unlike my love of the forlorn Seahawks, is whine about the team itself.
Maybe because I wasn’t given my citizenship by birth, I take it less lightly. Like my loyalty to my adopted baseball team, it is very real.

I want be an American. I am Proud of this right.

So while I may at times not like the coaching staff, my loyalty to my adopted country does not waiver.

Hmm, perhaps the Metro area only 

"Bye-bye, Miss American Pie"

I grew up on the music of John Lennon. I am a great fan of the Moody Blues and the Rolling Stones. It should be noted here that the death of Brian Jones changed the music of the Stones forever.

I grew up a fan of the Byrds and the Beach Boys. I thought Jim Morrison was the 'End' and that Jimi Hendrix could make me more experienced.

Bob Dylan was the troubadour of our times and I think it is incredibly hot that he gets to do Victoria's Secret ads at 60.

I could list the people I admired and spent hours listening to. Neil Young, Janis Joplin, The Who, Carlos Santana and Jefferson Airplane were just a few.

I thought that our love of the music would change the world and influence it. I still believe in many ways, it did. The 60's were a time of change and the music was a strong reflection of those times. The 70's brought us Genesis, Fleetwood Mac and the likes of Loggins and Messina. The Eagles soared to new musical highs and I was blown away by their harmonies and lyrics.

The other day I heard Santana's version of Peter Green's "Black Magic Woman" on an Easy Listening channel. Yikes!
Later they played "Something in the Air" by Phil Collins. I must be getting lost here, these were great rock tunes when I was growing up, not the tunes played in the waiting room of my local Ford Dealer.

I should have seen it coming when Jefferson Airplane became Jefferson Starship.

The times... they really are a changing.

Now I can drive down to the local Indian Casino to listen to Christopher Cross. Also at the same place, I can buy discounted cigarettes. I think these casinos are a blight and a fool's tax on those who can't afford it. Last month, they had KC and the Sunshine Band, another blight.

Blockbuster is now using Roy Orbison's "It's Over" to advertise their No Late Fee campaign.

I thought I had seen it all. I was wrong.

Kenny Loggins on Ice?

When will it end?