Love this joke Thanks Tim

I was shopping at the local supermarket, where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items
on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my select ions that
could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the
better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right, but how
on earth did you know that'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

Yep, no reason to make this stuff up

Roberts says God forced his resignation By JUSTIN JUOZAPAVICIUS, Associated Press Writer
2 hours, 2 minutes ago



TULSA, Okla. - Richard Roberts told students at Oral Roberts University Wednesday that he did not want to resign as president of the scandal-plagued evangelical school, but that he did so because God insisted.

God told him on Thanksgiving that he should resign the next day, Roberts told students in the university's chapel.

Oh please, what next you will die if you don't raise money??
Oh Wait that was daddy's deal....
Who believes these clowns.

Just a running joke on this idiot

 

An opponent to President Hugo Chavez, left, uses an iron stick to hit a Chavez supporter during a rally against the reforms to the nation's constitution proposed by the president in Puerto La Cruz, Venezuela, Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007. Venezuelans will vote to approve or reject the reforms in a referendum on Dec. 2. (AP Photo/Angel Manzanares)

And now

CARACAS, Venezuela - Venezuela threatened Wednesday to expel a U.S. Embassy official for allegedly conspiring to defeat a referendum championed by President Hugo Chavez, accusing the diplomat of plotting to sway public opinion.


and...

CARACAS, Venezuela - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Wednesday he was cutting off all contacts with the Colombian government, but left it unclear whether he was announcing an end to diplomatic relations between the two countries.

and...
Venezuelans protest Chavez's referendum By FABIOLA SANCHEZ, Associated Press Writer
51 minutes ago



CARACAS, Venezuela - More than 100,000 people flooded the streets of the capital Thursday to oppose a referendum that would eliminate term limits for President Hugo Chavez and help him establish a socialist state in Venezuela.

Blowing whistles, waving placards and shouting "Not like this!" the marchers carried Venezuelan flags and dressed in blue — the chosen color of the opposition — as they streamed along Bolivar Avenue.

"This is a movement by those of us who oppose a change to this country's way of life, because what (the referendum) aims to do is impose totalitarianism," said former lawmaker Elias Matta. "There can't be a communist Venezuela, and that's why our society is reacting this way."

And you don't want the death penalty?

 

GALVESTON — The 2-year-old girl known as Baby Grace was beaten with leather belts, held under water in a bathtub and slammed onto a tile floor in July, according to a statement her mother gave to investigators.

Riley Ann Sawyers' little body was then kept in a plastic container for up to two months at the Spring residence of her mother, Kimberly Dawn Trenor, 19, and Trenor's husband, Royce Clyde Zeigler II, 24, until they threw the box into West Galveston Bay, according to Trenor's statement released Monday.

No words can begin to come close to the rage and disgust I feel about this story.
You not only killed your child but took great pains to toss in torture and a level of anger that boggles the mind. She was only 2 and she was your daughter.
I am pleased you are in Texas and hope you are moved to the front of the express lane on death row.