How does a telemarketer know you are sitting down to eat?
I had one of these bottom feeders call the other night that may have taken the cake. Most folks have no idea how to say my last name. This is of course puts them at a disadvantage right from the get go. “Hello Mr. Ickenberg” is generally the not best start for hustling me out off money for a worthy cause or really cheap Viagra. In my old job I was once referred to as Jake Bigenbroad, a company spokesperson. I still have friends who call me this, not the notoriety I was looking for.
So the phone rings…”Hey Jake, how are you buddy” was the begging of the pitch. Good move, don’t even try that foreign last name.
In the background you could make out the sound of radio chatter, as in 2-way radio and such. Actually a pretty clever ploy considering where this call was going. Telemarketers with props, God help me.
“Hey this Mark with the Washington State Patrol “^%$#@” Union in Olympia. How are you tonight, not in trouble with the cops are you”? Of course followed by a good buddy laugh.
I ask what can I do my special buddy.
“Well Jake, I know you are a big supporter of these brave men who put their lives on the line for the public.”
I think to ask if there are any women who might actually do this but assume it would stop the written script.
He goes onto explain all the wonderful things a State Patrol does and that I probably didn’t know that they actually had a large charity wing that helps out the less fortunate.
Visions of them handing out food stamps to the spouse’s of the Meth dude that is in the back of the squad car, jump to mind
“Are you a State Trooper”? I ask.
A bit of a stammer followed by “Well not an active one, but we work behind the scenes to help support them and the things they need to do their jobs.” And here I thought taxes did that.
“Not interested.’ I say .
“Aw come on Jake you don’t want to hang up on me…” was the last thing I heard as I hung up.
