No, You Don't Get a Gun!!!!

All the Doo-Dah Day…

I went back to work. Man, it has been a long time since I have actually worked a ‘straight job’, even longer since I actually worked out of an office scenario.

I am a ‘tad’ out of practice.

In the last two weeks, I have had my truck searched 3 times. I am never really clear on what it is they are looking for. I believe there is nothing short of fuel really worth stealing; but, hey, I am a man of simple needs.

I find it even more interesting to watch folks being searched going Into the refinery. The guards use a mirror to look for stuff under the vehicle and then peer under the hood. I suspect they are looking for bombs…either that or they are conducting a consumer study on air filters.

These are clearly the brightest and sharpest of minimum wage employees on the face of the earth. Years back, as a member of the Refinery Fire Team, we spent time with the Bomb Squad from Fort Lewis. There was one clear lesson…there is no way to actually spot a bomb.

Clearly, these guards are hoping for the world’s stupidest terrorist who will tape some sticks of dynamite with a really long fuse - pre-lit.

Years back, one of our guards was smoking a ‘joint’ on the way to work. He dropped a hot ember on his front seat. As he got closer to work, the seat caught fire and of course, being the least enlightened ‘light bulb’, he drove his car into the Refinery. Somehow, that thought crosses my mind while watching these searches.

Now, there is actually a blockade ramp that goes up and down to prevent anyone from rushing the main gate entrance. I believe Evil Knievel and his sons designed it. I see it as a missed opportunity if the Garage doesn’t begin to use it for changing oil on vehicles that will eventually get caught by this.

But, more than anything, I forgot the use of the ‘radio’ (walkie-talkie for the non-refinery types) and the respective ‘call handles.’ I can now in clear conscience actually call out for Doo-Dah or Big Dick and actually get a response.

Of course, this comes from a guy whose younger brother is nick- named Big Bird.

Put Some Pants ON.....

Charles, Camilla Go to Church on Honeymoon

By MICHAEL McDONOUGH, Associated Press Writer
CRATHIE, Scotland - Prince Charles and Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, emerged from their rural estate Sunday to attend a small church service with about 200 villagers in their first public appearance since beginning their honeymoon in Scotland

Well, thank goodness, that is all over.

I couldn’t be more pleased that these two finally were able to ‘tie the knot.’ However, please, no candid shots of the honeymoon…no home made videos leaked to the Internet of the wedding night nuptials. I think it would be more than anyone could possibly handle.

Now, while there seems to have been much controversy around this marriage, even the Queen skipped the wedding; but, Camilla’s ex-husband attended (talk about your suck-ups). I for one couldn’t be happier.

First and foremost, it takes two of the most unattractive people, even by British standards, off the market. I never thought that any one person, let alone two could actually have the same dental work as Mr. ED, the talking horse. Well, ok, maybe John Elway…

The other bright note is the fact that these two lovebirds are too old to actually reproduce. This actually spares us all the sight of children with unusually large heads and ears bigger than a jumbo jet’s wingspan.

Oh, well “God bless the Queen” and all that…maybe the royal line continues to offer even more entertaining and bizarre behavior in the future. I can only speak for ‘moi’, but I rather enjoy the diversion from the real things in my life.