And the horse you rode in on

Ok, now you are just rude and pissing me off.

People are odd sometimes and just plain stupid at other times.

Years ago my personal life was a mess, failed relationships and so on. It was a long time ago, like 20 years ago long time ago. Since then I have improved that part of my life. Unlike some folks I tend to learn from my misjudgments. I have been fortunate to get over my past. I sure wish other people could make that leap.

A few years back I was having lunch with a former coworker. I was no longer with my longtime employer and he had returned after a venture into working as a contractor. During our lunch he thought it was appropriate to mention to a fellow lunch companion the number of failed marriages I had. I found this awkward at best. I found this really rude since he claimed to be a friend of both my wife and myself. I later asked him if he could perhaps get over my past, since I had managed to do so, and perhaps he might move on as well?

This was 8 years ago. Last year while playing golf with him, he opted to go there again. Explaining to me, after I asked him how this was even appropriate on any level, that it was just his sense of humor. Really, you might want to look up humor and see how it applies.

Here is the deal folks, people make bad choices, sometimes they actually recover from them. They move on to have good lives with a happy home. They are not the punch line to your sad version of life.

Do I seem annoyed? Damn right. I am. A few months ago, I almost died. I got sick and it pretty well sucked. My wife, yes, my wife, was there to hold my hand, my friends were there to hold both our hands. During this, I quit smoking; so for God’s sake, quit asking me if I am still not smoking. I get that it was a bad choice to start and I get more than any of you, how stupid it would be to start again, give me some credit.

I know that you are just wondering; but it really does come across as annoying and pretty much you feeling superior.

So today I went to a luncheon at a local Tech school. There was this dude I have known for a number of years. He runs a local Engineering company in town. I said, “Hey there, how are you?”
He responded with “So are you and your wife still together?”


Here’s a thought dude, lose the really bad haircut, Captain Kangaroo. And go screw yourself.

Couldn't Agree More

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning

Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't f ind it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then s omeone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they

don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on

your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they

will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.








My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,



Ben Stein

Just A Few Thoughts

Is it just me, or does anyone else cleanup before the housekeeper gets to your house?

If we were that neat to start with why would we need a housekeeper? At our house it is pretty clear why we have help, we really suck at keeping things picked up. Of course after the folks leave I can never find a thing.

On the same subject, why is that every time we hire a housekeeper, someone has to come along to translate? I am constantly amazed that there are jobs that only folks from other countries will do. I suspect we aren’t as much in an era of high unemployment as we are in an age of selective career choices. I’m just saying.

Is it a bit like brushing really well the day you have an appointment to have your teeth cleaned?

In some parts of the county of course that would be have your tooth cleaned, but different subject. But let me say to my tooth challenged friends, quit sending me emails about the theft of the election by the democrats…Obama won, learn to live with it.

And Now In French

Ce lundi j'obtiens un appel téléphonique auprès le détaillant de voiture qui obtient la plupart de nos activités. Nous avait acheté récemment un bail légèrement utilisé retour et qu'il s'est avéré le service voulu faire certains travaux de garantie et tel le véhicule. L'appel était en ce qui concerne le travail qui avait été effectué et ils souhaitent également savoir si ils pouvaient obtenir notre Envoi de courriel Accueil nous farcir. Quelques heures plus tard je reçois un e-mail et ma pensée 1er était qui est don ***** ?



Cher don *****, je vous remercie pour autoriser Wilson moteurs de service de votre véhicule. Votre satisfaction est notre responsabilité et nous espérons continuer à gagner votre entreprise. Veuillez prendre quelques minutes pour nous fournir le service meilleur en visitant notre site de sondage sur la satisfaction client et en complétant le sondage aider :


Je suis sûr que vous êtes inquiets de la satisfaction de client et toutes mais je pensant obtenir mon nom mauvais droit du faire aller isn’t travaillant dans cette direction.
Il n'est pas même comme vous vissés mon nom, mais vous m'a donné un tout à fait différent.
Les chances vous pourriez me donner toute autre info, SSN et ainsi de suite ?

Customer Service You Say

So Monday I get a phone call from the car dealer who gets most of our business. We had just recently bought a slightly used lease return and as it turned out the service department wanted to do some warranty work and such to the vehicle. The call was in regards to the work that had been done and they also wanted to know if they could get our home email send us stuff. A few hours later I receive an email and my 1st thought was who is Don *****?

Dear Don *****, Thank you for allowing Wilson Motors to service your vehicle. Your satisfaction is our responsibility and we hope to continue to earn your business. Please take a few minutes to help us deliver the best service by visiting our Customer Satisfaction Survey site and filling in the survey:

I am sure you are worried about customer satisfaction and all but I’m thinking getting my name wrong right from the get go isn’t working in that direction.
It isn't even like you screwed up my name, but you gave me an entirely different one.
Any chances you might give me any other info, SSN and so on?

I just want toast

We have this new toaster/bagel-warming thing in our kitchen. It has 2 control knobs and various settings on it and I will be the 1st to admit it confuses the heck out of me. I have tried every possible approach and at best I end up with some sort of warm white bread. Is it just me or are there way too many settings these days.

Have you seen the commercial where the CEO of Sprint has a folksy chat with the consumer? He rambles on about all the features cell phones now have and it almost seems odd that we still refer to them as phones. Ok then, all I really do want my phone to do is to make and receive calls. Based on the sheer number of pictures I have of the inside of my pants pocket, I am aware that my phone can also take pictures… all I need now is to figure out how to turn that feature off. I just need a phone nothing else is required.

About 2 months ago I was pretty sure that whatever I had for lunch was not agreeing with me in the least. It was a feeling that was actually not all that foreign to me over the summer. Later I became aware that this was something that Tums wasn’t going to solve this time and I should ask for a bit of help from my friends. After my wife and I did an Internet search on appendix, it was time to call the folks with the sirens and cool lights.
Everyone agreed that it was a great call on our part and that indeed the appendix needed to go. I was pretty happy we called it right, it almost made the pain bearable. Ok then one more test to confirm, a CAT scan would just determine how bad the culprit appendix were.

There is a look that when you see it says you might consider worrying a lot. The ER doc had that look when he came back in to review the CAT scan results with us. Hey the good news was that the appendix were coming out, the downside was that they were coming out since the surgeon would be in the “hood” anyways. He would be there to remove a piece of me that had stopped working.

I quit smoking on the 15th of August; while I was in a hospital listening to a doctor explain that I would die if I didn’t have surgery now. I decided if I didn’t die, smoking would be an insult and an affront to the folks trying to save my life and to the beautiful woman who held my hand through the entire drama. Well while she wasn’t taking control and putting on her Super Woman cape. She would need it.

One surgery led to a leak that required another surgery that leads to a lung full of fluid. She would endure someone she knew running a fever and so full of drugs that he became angry and hard to deal with. Delusional would be a kind way of saying it. I remember none of this; apparently between the fever and drugs the mind can shut out a ton of stuff.


It seemed like my life would never be the same and in many ways it hasn’t been. Everything tastes odd and different and the simplest of things makes me feel something. I have lost some feeling in parts of my legs, though I understand that will return. I have way more friends then I thought and a Brother who stepped up to the plate. A thanks doesn’t cover the gratitude I feel towards these folks.

So now I get to write again and there are no words to describe how good that really does feel.

Rant

Ok let’s get some things clear.

Being a republican does not make me an idiot or a strong believer in George W anyone. It simply defines my basic beliefs. The fact that my party has been hijacked by, oh man what’s the word…ah that’s it Lunatics, does not change my joy of less government.
It also doesn’t force me into voting for the flavor of the month that Oprah has anointed as the next prez; I’m kinda looking for someone with experience.
I wonder who the Owl party has running…

I believe in God, this does not mean I am a big fan of Joel Osteen or any mega church that has purchased the local bankrupt grocery church and converted it into Christco…I believe in doing my own research and not relying on any group that actually needs to have a commercial manager to handle their monies. Trendy rarely works for me. See Oprah and prez above.

I don’t like renters; there is no commitment for them to be a good neighbor.

I think if you are on food stamps you should shop at the dent a can store and not hold up my wine purchase at the local high-end stores.

Plastic sheeting does not substitute for a window in your car, nor does colored tape work well as a taillight. I can only assume you are a renter.

If I order a cheeseburger, please don’t ask me if I want cheese on that. I can only assume you have a plastic sheeting somewhere on your car.

Why do only seniors and want to be bangers drive 4 door Oldsmobiles and Buicks?

Homemade tattoos and halter-tops are simply a bad idea.

And finally, this week’s best bumper sticker.

“What would Scooby do?”

WHY I STILL LOVE CALIFORNIA

 

On no, not again

 

The microphone goes the other way....

And this is one of my choices for president, Lord help me.

Yikes....late for work

I forgot how much I truly enjoy writing; I imagine having a new job may be the overriding reason for not writing much anymore. That or I just got lazy.

Perhaps there are different addictions in this life and not are all that socially unacceptable as drugs and alcohol abuse. I often wonder about what has been my biggest addiction and trust me when I say I have taken a serious non-amateur approach to most. In the end I have always been addicted to work even though it long ago lost any faint luster or thrill. It just ends up being a job I do for money. Prostitution takes a lot of odd little forms.

I wonder how many folks actually read this without a prompting from an email or a phone call that asks “have you read the Whiner lately”. It makes me wonder if this is the best format or the one I have merely grown comfortable with? I had an agent once but for reasons only known to him it went south quickly.

I hope to keep writing this time and perhaps find a job that allows me to do this. All suggestions are welcome since I am clueless and inherently lazy in that aspect.

Subjects I wish to cover span the gambit from Oprah’s choice for prez to the mundane wondering about life as a 50 plus member of society.

My buddy Herb

And so it seems the warranty is wearing out. I should bought an extended one on this body, but never thought too much about it to be honest. The vision is till pretty good and I can still hear, albeit, there are times I wish it wasn’t as clear. The heart seems to work too quickly so I now have meds to resolve or at least control this as well. But the weirdest part was the removal of an umbilical hernia last week. Oddly enough this was something I picked up while going to the gym many years ago in an attempt to stay healthy and fit.

My wife named it Herb, and every year is seemed to take on more of a life of it’s own. It was either forming an all seeing eye or a set of headlights any VW would have been proud of. All the while staring out from the middle of my ever- expanding stomach. When the surgeon explained the procedure to remove Herb, I asked if perhaps a little liposuction might be in order since he was going to be there anyways. He balked at this and I responded with “Hey as long as you are there, heck I’ll even bring a garden hose and pump as need be”. No luck on that. I guess exercise is my only option, once again trying to see how best to balance a drink and keep the cigarette going all the while. This keeping healthy is not for the faint of heart.

So the day arrived, nerves are shot and attempts at humor are awkward at best, unattractive or not, I had grown very attached to Herb…. so to speak. The nurse told us what would happen, the doc who would give me drugs to go to sleep reminded me a lot a goalie I had played hockey against as a youth, albeit she was a tad more pleasant, the doc that is. The surgeon and I talked about our Triumph motorcycles and exchanged pleasantries even though we both knew why he was really there. Removing Herb with a sharp pointy thing.

They brought me into a room with a cross like looking bed, arms strapped to the side my nose began to itch like mad. Isn’t it always the way? As the La La juice kicked in I could hear the refrains of Sarah Brightman singing “Time to say Goodbye” in the background.

I woke up a bit later and decided, hey no big deal, I feel fine. The surgeon came in and explained that Herb was a bit of a split personality and had formed various layers. The “Sybil” of hernias. He mentioned some other things and sent us home with a handful of scripts.

Herb and I had been together since 1998 and yet I don’t find I miss him. It’s taking a decent shower I miss.

makes sense to me

http://www.pickensplan.com

nuff said

 

In this Aug. 14, 2007, file photo, Maxime Bernier arrives to be sworn in as the new Minister of Foreign Affairs ..

Later he would resign for leaving things exposed....

From my bride

 

Here's a Thought

The other day I actually took the time to read my many wonderful offers from various credit card junk mails. I noticed they all sent dummy credit cards, one with Mickey Mouse, my wife felt they were bogus since they did not offer a Daisy duck. That being said, I also noticed a return, postage paid return envelope. After making sure there were no names associated with these, mine being the operative name, on these fancy credit cards I came up with a plan. I placed the Disney card into the CTI pre paid envelope, the NASCAR one in the Disney Envelope and so on and put them in the mail. I wonder if we all did that could we actually become annoying to the credit card companies?

From Bird Seed...makes sense to me

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...
It goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z ...

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that WhileHard work andKnowledge will get you close, andAttitude will get you there, it's theBullshit and Ass kissingthat will put you over the top.

'REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL T O SHOOT THEM.'

And From the Home State of GWB

I swear I did not make this up. Actuall online chat with a person we know from Texas, though the names have been changed to protect the stupid. Warning it is in in IM chat language.

Texas friend: we have friend that is walter reed hospital..is that any where close to where ya'll are??

ME: 3000 miles away

Texas Friend: oic.thats some ways..


ME: walter reed is in washington dc
..
Texas Friend: oh where are ya'll??

ME: washiungton state

Texas Friend: i just knew u were in washington..
not the same??

ME: not even close
ME: we are on the west coast
ME: you know where seattle is?


Texas Friend: noo not exactly..
Texas Friend: never been west of texas..



ME: seattle is on the west cost we are 100 miles north near the Canadian border

Texas Friend: oic..
i would have to get out atlas and look at it..

The Mild Bunch

 

When I got my 1st bike I was 19 and read Playboy and Easy Rider Magazine

My new bike, it’s the Triumph on the right, and now I read AARP. Go Figure.

A few weeks back a friend of mine went out to go fishing. It was a beautiful day and the water was like glass. The next day they found his boat washed up on shore and no trace of him has yet to be found. There is something empty about that, no way to put an end to it and God only knows when there will be. I drove over to his house to make sure there was some truth to it, maybe not his boat and all that, but it was. Sometimes truth really sucks.

When I got home I started thinking about being a lot more cautious in my own life. No more dumb risk taking and so on. It was during that moment of rational thought it occurred to me that everything in my life was safe and insulated. I had long ago given up skiing, far to easy to break something, I gave up flying, way to claustrophobic. I gave up being a firefighter, someone could get hurt in all that smoke and so on. And finally I gave up my love for motorcycles; all the articles said guys my age get killed on those damned things.

Now I go to the doctor all the time to make sure my diet is good and my heart is working. I visit my dentist and make sure all my affairs are in order. I thought I had it covered. After all 50 is the new 30 or 40. Enjoy your life and don’t let age be an issue.

A friend got a new Bike the other day, it is the biggest bike I have ever seen, this thing could pull an Amtrak Train. I remember saying you need to be really careful and even quoted some things that I had read about older dudes being at risk on these things. When he asked if I still had a bike I assured him I was well beyond that level of crazy, after all people depended on me.

Between both of these events, it occurred to me I was no longer someone who my friends would know. I had become everything I found so vanilla about the older generation. I had given up my true passion for motorcycles and replaced it with an unhealthy fear of them. I had become afraid of the things I loved and replaced them with reality TV, man that sucks.

So in spite of all the rational thoughts in my brain I bough a new bike, it is hopefully a step to getting back a bit of risk in my life, But hey, I have a helmet and will avoid areas of trouble and be cautious, at least till I get this thing all figured out.

So now when I am riding and freezing my smile off, I want to say, “Thanks Robin, this ride is for you my friend.”

Breaks Over

Thanks Folks

The Whiner is taking a long over due break...

keep in touch