If it looks like a duck....

Once you’re ‘the guy with the thing on your neck’, you will always be ‘the guy with the thing on your neck.’

A buddy of mine tells a story about when he was going to school in Montana (See Montana Mafia and other bitter and cold states) and there was one guy there whose name he could never remember. But he always referred to him as ‘the guy with the thing on his neck’; apparently a birthmark of some sorts…the Russian leader look. He even says that all his friends always referred to this person as ‘the guy with…’ well you get the picture.

This got me to thinking about the difficulty of overcoming perceptions and how difficult it seems to be to grow in the eyes of others.

I always think of the actor who was the ‘Soup Nazi’ on ”Seinfeld.” It was probably the role of a lifetime for this, then, struggling actor. He was given a role that became synonymous with so many things in our lives. The phrase “no soup for you.” became as common as “Cowabunga” and could be heard in meetings to social situations. Sadly for this fine actor, who’s name I never remember, will always be the ‘Soup Nazi’? He can go into movies, television or live theater and someone will often say, ”Hey, isn’t that the ‘Soup Nazi’?”

Change is never easy and sometimes it is just best to move away and try a new start.

I had lived in California for a number of years when I received a call about a death of a very, close person in my life. I flew back (you know this was important if I flew) to Washington to speak at his funeral.

I decided to stay at the Lakeway Inn, a local hotel and watering hole. For many years, it had been a place I often visited after work and had in fact, become part of the evening crowd, as Billy Joel said so well in his song, ”Piano Man”.

Think of “Cheers”, where everybody knows your name and all the men looked like Norm.

The night before the funeral I decided to go down to the bar for a bite and a drink. What are the odds of that?

Life in California had become very much home for my wife and me. We had made new friends and in my case had been able to leave behind being the guy who was known as “Dutch’s” kid. Or as some preferred, the guy who had been married a bunch of times.

I still have people I know that use that as the best way to describe me. Suffice it to say, there was no burning desire to be back in the area, but this was very important.

So I walk into the bar, haven’t been in there for over five years. Sitting at the bar are the same five guys who were sitting there the last time I was there. One guy looks up and says “Hey Jack, what’s new?”

“Not much, just stepped out to buy some smokes,” was the only reply I could think of.

So ‘the guy with the thing on his neck’ and I have a lot in common… I guess.